There are several things that couples tend to ignore in marriage that end up causing so much pain, especially for the woman. Commitment to the marriage is one lacking ingredient that has not been fully utilised in the marriage.
“My husband’s attitude to me has a lot to do with how I feel day to day, his attitude to my work, failures and success means a lot to me and it has always showed that he was committed to my well-being and success but all of a sudden all these changed and I am beginning to get confused, please help me as I cannot take it any longer and it is affecting my work negatively,” Mrs. Ify Enegide, who wrote, narrating her experience and seeking advice to her predicament.
Mrs. Enegide is not the only woman facing this type of predicament as there are several other women in her shoes but who have decided to take life the way it presents itself to them. It is important for every woman to have the support and encouragement of her husband but most hubbies have failed in their commitment to their wives and the home-front in general. There are several women that place so much importance and weight on the opinion their husbands hold about them, thereby impacting in how they view themselves, this is necessary but becomes vague if the man in question does not reciprocate the respect that has being accorded him by ignoring her.
Girls generally just want to have fun but all that changes when they become wives as they want love and support from their husbands so that they can be assured of the commitment in the marriage.
Sarah Felix, a 39-year-old teacher says: “We have this notion that husbands never leave their wives, unfortunately times have changed as we are in an era where the sanctity of marriage has lost its integrity because some men never seem to have value for it, as they wait for the slightest opportunity to head straight to the next available bedroom. Commitment in a marriage is very vital as indeed every woman needs it to be assured of her husband’s commitment to her and the marriage.”
Mr. Jimoh Abdulrasheed, a 40-year-old accountant, is of the opinion that: “I have come to realise that whenever I give my wife all the attention she needs, there is general peace in the home and whenever I shift from that routine of giving her all the attention she starts nagging and complaining. Wives are happier when husbands give them care, attention and most of all love.”
He adds that: “Marriage more than ever is being threatened and all because of the lukewarm attitude most husbands tend to exhibit towards their wives. They forget that no matter what, your wife is your partner and true friend they can ever have, even though some argue that you can also get another woman better than what they have at home. There is this proverb that says the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know. There is every reason to show commitment in marriage for the sake of peace and harmony.”
Mr. Abdulrasheed Umar, an Islamic cleric says: “Women’s top six emotional needs are affection, conversation, honesty, openness, financial support and family commitment. It is normal for every woman to feel bothered if her husband does not show any commitment in whatever concerns her as it will keep hunting her that she is not good enough for him. It is important that husbands show confidence and give support to their wives; every woman deserves the right to her husband being the first person to believe in her and her capabilities.”
No marriage is smooth all the way as there are bound to be problems in one form or the other, but totally ignoring a woman and not showing concern causes emotional pain and stress for her. Every woman deserves the right to feel special and unique. Problems come and go. Hajia Jummai Awalu opines that: “My husband is quick to forgive me when I make a mistake and once a problem is discussed and solved it is over and that shows that he is committed to the relationship and I feel happy and relaxed, at least it shows that he wants the best for the marriage.”
Whatever the reason maybe, learn from experience though some might not be under our control but commitment to the marriage does not entail much compared to the pains and devastation lack of it causes at the end of the day.
