Dear Nabilah,
My advice to Nigerians is to vote for such leaders that are religiously devoted because with the recent happenings, I have come to the conclusion that most of our leaders are dayooth, they don’t have any ghirah (protective jealousy) for their women, they allow indulge in indecent dressing, they don’t care about Allah’s laws and prohibitions.
So how can they lead us well?
How can we have respect for such leaders?
What do you have to say?
-Concerned Patriot
Dear Patriot,
I think it’s good advice to prefer religiously conscious leaders, but I would like to remind you that it is not only people that choose, Allah is The Ultimate chooser of leaders.
And remember, not all religiously conscious people can also be good leaders, furthermore, the throes of leadership can affect their devotion, as even in normal circumstances, faith is bound to fluctuate.
It’s prohibited to revolt against the leaders or disrespect them.
The best one can do is to be a good citizen, and to always pray for Allah to choose the best for us.
- I’m scared to talk to girls!
Dear Nabilah,
I’m an educated young man, handsome in my own way and sociable within my peers.
My problem is, I’m scared to talk to girls, most of the time I see girls that I like and want to start a relationship with, but I can’t t summon the will to approach them and introduce myself, even if I do manage to introduce myself, I cannot go further and let them know my intention.
In short, I lack confidence in terms of speaking to ladies. What is your advice?
-Shying away…
Dear shying away,
If you are ready to settle down, send your elders to the girl’s house and they will do the talking for you with her elders.
And If you’re not ready for marriage, then why do you need the confidence to speak to any girl?
What is the purpose of that talk, just to whisper sweet nothings, and romantic messages that arouse and waste up both of your sexual energy?
Note, that energy resources that you waste in chasing girls just for fun, you can harness in something grander that can bring you more benefits and everlasting joy in this world and the hereafter.
My advice is this: If you’re a student, concentrate on your studies and forget about girlfriends and relationships until you are ready for a meaningful one.
If you are a graduate with no permanent employment, invest your time and mental energy in finding a good and permanent employment; and if you are employed, then invest your spare time in a side hustle and in building your dream house.
Then you can begin searching for that lucky potential wife.
I also advise you to read as much as you can about marriage to prepare yourself because marriage is completely a different roller-coaster!
Try to develop general self-confidence and not just one for speaking to girls.
Being always true and authentic will boost your confidence, try to maintain general hygiene and develop a sense of dressing that is simple yet sophisticated, avoid being pompous and self-centered!
Don’t be afraid to express yourself, always speak your mind without minding what others will think of, or do to you.
- I’m in a dilemma: Love or Studies?
Dear Nabilah,
I’m a 200-level student of mechanical engineering.
I’m in love with a guy that graduated 2 years back and currently works in their family business.
We have been together for the past four years. Ours is love at first sight, we love each other so much that it is beyond description.
We plan on getting married before my graduation, but now my plans have changed, I don’t think I can manage studies with marital responsibilities, especially when the kids start popping out.
Furthermore, I’m the top of my class and I know I can’t maintain my grade if I get married.
My boyfriend initially supported my decision, but now his family is pressuring him to get married as he’s the eldest son so his parents are eager to see him settled.
And in turn, he’s pressuring me to abandon my dreams.
I don’t want to lose my boyfriend, nor do I want to lose my big dreams of becoming an Astronomer. Kindly help me out…
-Girl in a dilemma
Dear Girl,
Marriage itself cannot be a deterrent to good grades, there are many married students with good grades and even top their class.
It all depends on your grit and tenacity and the support you get from your immediate family.
So my advice is to make it clear to your boyfriend that you will agree to marry now with the agreement that he will give you all the support you need for your studies until you graduate, make it a legal agreement between you two and you add up anything you think might help you towards achieving your dreams while married!
Or you can support him to find and marry a suitable girl while you finish up your studies and you can marry him later as a second wife.
