When married, it is believed that everything belongs to both partners. Is it so when it comes to money?
Many women consciously or unconsciously take money from their husband’s pockets or wallets without the knowledge of their spouses. For many, it is nothing, as they believe that they are partners and whatever belongs to their husband equally belongs to them. Some others, though, believe that is stealing because it is done without the knowledge of the owner.
Adebimpe Rotimi, 38, is a pharmacist . She explains that sincerity begets trust. “I know a husband who when he collects his monthly pay, he removes money he will need personally and hands over the rest to his wife for running the home. His reason is he feels his wife is a better financial manager than he is. Now the question is, do you think the wife gained that level of trust and respect from the husband by taking his money without his knowledge? If we take their money without telling them, they know even if they overlook sometimes. Maybe one day, he might say something about the character of picking money from his pocket. Trust is very important, especially in financial matters. Taking what doesn’t belong to you without the person’s knowledge is stealing.”
Aisha Abdullahi, a 31-year-old accountant suggests women come up with a budget to avoid such instances of having to pick money from their spouse’s pockets. “Stealing is taking someone else’s belongings or property without permission. We should be sincere and ask ourselves how we would feel if our husbands did the same to us. Most women must have been doing it and taking it for granted because he hasn’t noticed, but morally it is wrong. But while at it, be mindful that none of your children see you doing it hence they see it as normal and imitate you right from a young age. Instead, I will suggest the wife tell him to increase the money for managing the home.”
Ify Nduka, 33, is a civil servant. She says: “If my husband likes, he should give me the whole world. That extra one in his pocket is what I prefer. Men will always be men and give you little allowance believing as a woman you will be able to manage. Taking money from his wallet is sort of my right, too. After all, it is for the upkeep of the home and for my maintenance as his wife.”
Mercy Ibekwe, a 34-year-old caterer says she doesn’t understand why taking one’s husband’s money can even be termed stealing. “Are both of you not supposed to be one? Maybe because permission wasn’t taken from him, but I really don’t see the reason for asking him before taking the money. On the other hand, I think it depends on the kind of marriage you are in, because if there is friendship between both partners, he will understand that whatever must have caused you to take the money was reasonable. Anyone who thinks its stealing must be in an official marriage and not a comfortable one, which in my opinion lacks spontaneity. I believe in ‘your money shall be my money, my people your people and your God my God. Simple.”
Hajiya Maryam Abdullahi, a marriage counselor, believes that taking what doesn’t belong to you is stealing, whether from parents, partners, siblings or even children. “If you need extra money, have you tried to tell him that the money he gives isn’t enough to run the home? Just let him know and increase it. In any case, a wife should find something doing in order to support her husband financially.” She adds that for all those who say it isn’t stealing, “Think about it this way, next time your kid takes something from your bag, fridge, or pot without your consent or approval. Only then will you understand that you have no moral right to caution him or her for stealing.”
Abdullahi advised women who indulge in that to stop. “If you keep taking his money without his permission and he finds out someday, your integrity will be questionable, she explained.
