The story of women who have been sexually abused has been with us for a very long time. Such women were often dismissed and the perpetrator protected. Over half of abused women have been abused by someone they know and a lot of times by a family member. But the #Me too has thrown the floodgates open and attention has now focused on the thousands of women messed up for life by an unkind, crude predator whose belief is that sex or abuse should serve as their dominance in the power relations between men and women and between the powerful and the weak. As the chickens are coming home to roost, unruly and disrespectful men are now checking themselves, women have found their voices and some of the most influential men in some creative industries are being brought down. The most recent story of abuse has been domiciled at the foot of a Sports physiotherapist in the United States, Larry Nassar, who abused over 200 young Olympic hopefuls and in many instances while they were in the room either on their phones or sitting in the waiting room. He got jailed for 175 years. What can I say? Many Nigerian men are not excluded in this sad act of depravity. Just check if your sister or daughter is looking for a job or even working in an establishment, THE TOP MAN ALWAYS FEEL ENTITLED TO THE WOMAN’S BODY, ANY WOMAN HE PLEASES. Sick! Then they demand respect. Wow! Big man, please shut up and sit down. You have clay feet. We can see your dirty pants and you are not worth the position you occupy. Here are five books to tell the story better and to say to women who have been abused, you are not alone and the time to speak out is now!
1) Speak by Halse Anderson: Speak is the story of Melinda, a ninth grader at Merry Weather High School in New York.
She meets Andy Evans, a senior boy just before her freshman year, who takes her away, drugs her drink and rapes her. In her confusion she dials 911 and the police arrive at the party but Melinda finds herself unable to tell anyone or the police what had happened.
When the entire school discovers that Melinda broke up the party and got some students arrested, her friends and everyone else stops speaking to her and no one actually knew she was raped.
As a result, she suffers extreme bullying by her schoolmates and falls into depression. Her classes suffered as she begins to skip school as her depression intensified. Melinda only speaks up when Andy begins to date her friend a year later and attempts to rape her again. Then she finds her voice. This fictional tale is a classic abused woman’s story. Two tips. One, speak up even though it is one of the hardest things to do. Two, everyone should note that abused persons more often than not go into depression. Pay attention to anyone whose character is changing, whether they are your children, wards or your students. It means something is going on and they are looking for someone to talk to.
(2) Push, written by Sapphire: Push is an emotional, powerful, disturbing novel written from the perspective of a young and poor black woman whose life has been defined by sexual, emotional and physical abuse.
Precious Jones lives in Harlem, New York with her mother.
Her father doesn’t live with them; he only stops by when he wants to have sex with her. He started having sex with her when she was just three. Her mother is always around when her father has sex with her and she doesn’t do anything about it.
At age 12 she has her first child, four years later she has another one which gets her suspended from school. Her dad is the father of both children. Then she begins to go to school and starts adult education for special children and her teacher leads her to self-awakening. And yes, she gets a job and turns her life around. This book became a hit movie. Not only have I watched the jaw dropping hit movie, Precious featuring Gabourey Sidibe, I have also read the book several times. The book is nearly x-rated, as is the movie so be careful where you leave it in your home. For some women, here is your sin. You sometimes encourage incest by looking the other way and allow your new husband to sleep with his step daughter. Really? It is time to introspect. I think women who allow this should be publicly shamed. #Destroyingyourowndaughter. Shame. In this mix, everyone needs help. A psychiatrist, social worker, psychologist. It is a pretty messed up family.
(3) Heartberries, Amemoir by Terese Marie Mailhot. This is the story of an indigenous Indian woman in the United States who was severally abused by her father and then told her mother who did nothing about it. At 32 years of age she suffered a mental breakdown and secluded herself. A sad story happening all around us. The author appeared on the Trevor Noah show only this week to talk about the book but the sadness in her eyes told me she is coping but can never really recover. The New York Times describes it as a sledgehammer of a book with incredible use of language to showcase memory and trauma in the most amazing way. A must read.
(4) Living Dead Girl: This is a young adult novel written by Elizabeth Scott. The story follows a girl called ‘Alice’ who has been kidnapped by a pedophile named Ray.
The book takes place five years after Alice’s abduction, she is now 15 years and is still living with Ray, her abductor.
They pose as a father and daughter, though they have no connections to anyone in the outside world. He deprives her of food in order to keep her frozen in her childlike body, he also rapes her every day.
Alice refers to herself as the ‘Living Dead Girl’. She walks around like a zombie and believes that one day he will kill her like he did the girls before her. One day, he takes her to a park urging her to find him a new girl to continue with his horrific act. On getting to the park, she finds a young girl called Lucy in the company of her brother. Then she urges Lucy to run away before Ray gets to her. In the unfolding drama, a scuffle ensues and Lucy’s brother shoots Ray who by now has Alice in his firm grip. Alice has gunshot wounds and lying in her own blood tells Lucy her story before she dies. This novel is that story. Tip; Be careful where your daughters go on their own.
5) A Stolen Life by Jaycee Lee Dugard: A stolen life is a memoir by Jaycee Dugard, who was kidnapped at the age 11. She was held captive in a hidden backyard compound for 18 years, in California, Antioch by Phillip and Nancy Garrido.
She was a captive of the couple and forced to endure repeated sexual abuse and false imprisonment.
Dugard was a typical eleven-year-old girl growing up in Lake Tahoe, California. While on her way to school, a van pulled up, Phillip Garrido overpowered her and then forced her into the van.
In 2009, Philip went and confessed to the police who released Jaycee to a tearful re-union with her parents. Tip: Check that house in your neighborhood occupied by your weird neighbours. Get the police. Someone maybe in danger in there.
