Would going fetish salvage your marriage?

There are bound to be hitches, glitches and obstacles in every relationship but does going fetish help in solving the problems?

At a gathering recently, Patience (not real name) explains her nightmare to her friends and sought their advice. “I was insecure about losing my husband to ‘slay queens’ in Lagos and Abuja since he was mostly in these cities so I heeded the advice of some friends to keep him to myself completely by ‘hooking’ him through fetish means. After years of being successful with this method, he unfortunately saw me mixing something in his food and moved out of the house. Since then, all efforts by my family to reconcile us have not been positive. My intention was not to hurt or harm him but to ensure that I live in peace with him forever.  Was it wrong for me to have tried to protect my home by doing that?”

Women are known to be the weaker sex and tend to get emotional when they feel their relationship or marriage is threatened. The question now is, is going fetish the only way to secure a relationship or marriage? Some respondents had varying opinions. 

Amina Usman, 36-year-old civil servant, says “I have faced emotional troubles in life and faced them at quite an early stage in life because I married early. Being young at that time and with no mum to give me a listening ear as she is late, I took solace in the advice of friends, some of whom advised I went the fetish way. I almost fell prey but at the last minute changed my mind. I decided to go on my knees and pray to God and that worked for me instantly. I tell women who care to listen that going the fetish way will only jeopardize the life they are trying to protect in the long run. Going that way is not worth the pain.” 

Hajiya Hajara Saleh, 45-year- old educationist, asks, “Why do we always deceive ourselves that going fetish is the permanent solution to our problem in life? No man will take it if he finds out, no man! So now, did the juju work? Because if it worked even after he saw what he saw he will just let it go. The result means the juju did not work and she is now left to wallow in sorrow. Any man that you have to use juju to keep is not your own whether you are married or not. True love does not depend on being fetish. Being fetish has never had a good ending, I wonder why people still go ahead with it.”

Marriage counselor Hajiya Maryam Abdullahi says “She should thank God he hasn’t sent her packing yet and disgraced her which would have been a huge mess for her and her family. Secondly, if she still loves him and wants him back in her life, then she should meet people he respects and would listen to and confess to them, beg them to help her talk to him. She should not expect him to forgive her immediately because he would not quickly believe her excuse that she did it for love. Thirdly, she needs to ask for His forgiveness from the same God she wasn’t so sure of his wonders which made her to go to a traditionalist because he is still the ultimate. Going fetish doesn’t salvage your marriage in any way. God, good behavior, patience and faith in prayers is what will salvage your marriage.”