World Kindness Day

November 13 was World Kindness Day (aka WKD). I didn’t even know there was anything like a World Kindness Day but boy, does the world need one every day of the week. There can never be  kindness overload in a world where apathy has become a virtue. There must be an Igbo proverb that says the difference between humans and animals is that the former have the ability to empathise. If our social media behaviour is anything to go by, then we are becoming less human.  

With recent studies asserting that some animals are able to empathise in certain conditions, I can’t even say that we are becoming more like animals sef. Empathy is dead and bullying is on the rise (naturally). The late Maya Angelou once said on Oprah that we ought to be rainbows in other people’s clouds, “The thing to do, it seems to me, is to prepare yourself so you can be a rainbow in somebody else’s cloud. Somebody who may not look like you. May not call God the same name you call God — if they call God at all…I may not dance your dances or speak your language. But be a blessing to somebody. That’s what I think.” And that’s what I think too. The Church says Amen?  

I love that Angelou uses the word, ‘prepare’ because being kind has got to be intentional. We are not hardwired to be instinctively kind, otherwise our first instinct when we see someone stumble while walking wouldn’t be to laugh. I have just been replaying the video of some Victoria’s Secret  model who slipped and fell while strutting on the runway. I think it’s hilarious, and I’ll probably return to it a few more times today before I tire of it. Na laugh I laugh , I no kill person. Seriously though, there seems to be a growing indifference to others’ feelings (especially on social media platforms) as if people forget that behind every post is a real human being with emotions and thoughts and things happening to them. Trolling, doxing and cyberbullying have entered our 21st century lexicon. And they present a problem much more serious than just finding fellow human beings in embarrassing situations. funny! 

I have often heard it being said that many of these folks who are cruel in cyberspace are actually “nice people who wouldn’t dream of being unkind in real life.” Okay ooo but there are real life consequences to virtual world cruelties, so being nice in real life doesn’t get anyone a pass. A 2021 study by the NIH in the US found that experiencing cyberbullying increased the risk of thoughts of suicide and suicide attempts among adolescents.  

Virtual bullying follows victims outside of the cyberworld. Recently, a fifteen-year-old boy, bullied by someone pretending to be a young girl into sending nude photos of himself, was blackmailed by the perpetrator. The fifteen-year-old was asked to pay over $1000 to stop the nude photos from being leaked on Instagram. He didn’t have the money, couldn’t face telling his parents what he’d done and instead killed himself. Naija twitter has witnessed its own tragic examples of cyber bullying leading to real life harm, including suicide.  

Being intentional with kindness in virtual spaces – particularly on platforms where the only means of communication is via text-  is especially important because our words are the only things the person who’s receiving them get. There’s no body language to provide nuance/context when one is intended. There’s no inflection in your voice, no mischievous wink to assure the other party that you don’t mean to be particularly cruel. So check your text before you hit ‘send.’  If you type in haste and regret what you’ve written, you can’t be certain that the victim would be around to see your apology as they might have blocked you.  

On this WKD, I want to remind us all that kindness costs nothing. Au contraire folks, it is a gift to ourselves. I am pretty sure I’ve read about some research that shows that kindness increases the release of serotonin and dopamine, those chemical messengers in our brains linked to everything good. Per scientists, “serotonin is associated with feelings of happiness, focus and calm, whilst dopamine is associated with feelings of rewards, motivation, and being productive.” Kindness also boosts endorphins, the body’s natural pain killer. If you can’t be kind to others, be kind to yourself.