The argument concerning the sex of a child is a regular occurrence in most families in Africa, especially in Nigeria. The male child is given priority over the female child in most African homes for the simple reason of continuation of the family name.
Mrs. Adewunmmi Ojo, a mother of four girls narrates her experience thus: “After being nervous about taking a gender test because my family keeps saying this time I should have a boy after having four girls, I asked my doctor to check the gender for me. After a while he said, “Congratulations you are having a girl.” The disappointed look on my husband’s face was heartbreaking as he asked in disgust, “another girl? I needed a boy badly and we’re having another girl?” I felt so disappointed not because we will be having another girl but because his family will be disappointed when they find out I will be having another girl. I am beginning to be disappointed with myself. How can I handle this situation?”
Rachael Orlu, a 40-year-old civil servant advises that: “The only way to handle this is keep your head high, look your family in the eye with a smile on your face and ‘say yes, we are having a girl and I love her already.’ Note that women have the girl chromosomes while the male has XY chromosome. If he gives you an X you produce a female, if he gives you Y you produce a male. Gone are the days when people craved for male kids. Women are now ruling the world. Be proud of the baby God has blessed you with. It’s time men knew this piece of info regarding the sex of children and stopped the blame game!”
For 30-year-old caterer Obianuju Okoye, people are just being ignorant and testing God: “People really get on God’s nerves, girl or boy are God’s blessings. So many are out there crying and having sleepless nights just to be blessed with the fruit of the womb or even a miscarriage, and here we have people talking of baby‘s gender after having four children.
“All I have to say is that such ignorant people are only trying the patience of God. There is power in spoken words, let’s watch what we utter, that baby will be the one to wipe the tears of her parents in future. I suggest they start thanking God for the gift he has given them. Ignore whatever your family says because God will still give you male children.”
Dolapo Adebanjo, a 38-year-old male civil servant, says we can never satisfy the world no matter what we do: “It is a problem if you give birth to only boys, the same thing if you give birth to only girls. You give birth to three boys and one girl; we scramble to add one more girl likewise if we have girls and just a boy we would love to have one more boy. Then when it turns out to be a boy or girl again, then it becomes a big problem with in-laws, friends and even family. They should be happy they were blessed with children in their union as millions of people are out there looking for the fruit of the womb with millions but cannot get any.”
Marriage counsellor Hajiya Maryam Abdullahi says: “Thousands of women are out there crying day and night for just one baby, irrespective of sex. God has blessed you with a bundle of joy that some people will give their right arm for, you are talking of family reactions when they hear ‘it’s another ‘ girl. They should both be grateful to God as many couples are marking their anniversary without kids. But one thing you mustn’t fail to do, don’t stop praying for your beautiful daughters for they are the blessings of your life. On the side of the man, he should be her number one supporter and not a burden to her. They are in this together and should go through it together.”
Children are precious gifts from God, male or female. We’ve no explanation to offer any mortal regarding the sex of our children. We are way beyond the century when baby girls were a disappointment.
