Why do they always say ‘dad’ first?

Mothers are usually very excited over the birth of their newborns. Especially when it is their first baby, they indulge themselves in the nurturing and caring of the child. Many even give up their jobs to fully participate in this. What a lot of them find ‘shocking’ and ‘disappointing’ is that in spite of their efforts to bond with the children, their babies, in their words, somehow recognize ‘daddy’ first and ‘mummy’ later.

When asked what they thought was responsible for this, a mischievous and hearty laughter always preceded the responses of the fathers while a ‘frustrated’ frown with raised eyebrows and querying voices saying ‘I wonder why’ preceded the views of mothers.

Even before she heard the whole question, Fatima Masaya was already letting out a quizzical look as she said, “Yes, I wonder why they always say ‘dada’ first before ever mentioning ‘mama’ even though I am the one who is at home all the time! It’s really ‘annoying’.”

Mrs. Sinachi Obi, a stay-at-home mother of two said it was not so much the fact that her first daughter didn’t say ‘mama’ before she said ‘dada’ that wound her up. “It was the fact that she could even say the names of house girl, the washer man and names of others and just didn’t seem like she was ever going to say ‘mama’.

Eme Kurz counts herself lucky as her case was different. Amidst hearty laughter of seeming victory she said, “My children all said ‘mummy’ first. I think it is because they refer to their father as ‘papa’ and not ‘daddy’. I guess that’s the reason all three of them learnt to say ‘Mummy’ first and learnt ‘Papa’ much later on. Dem know who suffer carry them,” [sic] she quipped.

Mr. Umar Abu asked, “Whose name did you expect him to call first? My wife has tried and tried to get him to say ‘mama’, but no way. When she try too much the guy dey even call her ‘dada’. [sic]  I have told her to relax, her time dey come,” [sic] he joked.

Expressing an objective view, Bridget Onochie said, “Without sentiments, I think it has to do with what is lighter on the tongue of a particular child. I don’t think it has to do with any kind of attachment to a father or mother. Rather, as babies try to talk, any word they find easy to pronounce comes first.

“I have a daughter, Andrea, whom I recall, could not talk easily like her siblings. But when she started, she quickly picked ‘Nana’. I also know I was used to calling her ‘Nene’ as a pet name but rather than ‘Nene’, she started voicing out ‘Nana’ and that is exactly what I call her today as a pet name even fifteen years after.

“What I am trying to say is that a child can pick any word first depending on the environment she grows in. Most times, it is the name of the house help that he picks first. I don’t think it is usually dada that comes first unless the father’s duty permits him to stay around the child often and he is the type that likes playing around the child, the baby might pick ‘da’ or ‘daddy’ or perhaps, ‘dada’ first.”

For Prof. Jenks Okwori his belief is that it’s the most used word in the house and it is called even more than ‘mummy’. If they are doing things or going back home, the conversations they have are often about daddy. Children are usually not as scared of their mothers as they are of fathers. Also, the mother/child relationship is somewhat professional. Feed them, cook, clean, help them with homework and so on. There are a few mothers who actually spend time to play and run around with their children the way fathers do. If truth be told, children look forward to the playful times with their fathers.” “Upon reflection” he added, “I think a more rational interpretation of the phenomenon could be that ‘dada’ or ‘papa’ are innate sounds that was appropriated by a large patriarchal society to mean father. Afterall, do we really know how the word came to mean father not mother or something else?

Corroborating what her father said, Enenu Okwori said, “It’s very true that children especially girls are closer to their dads than their mums. My dad was the one who had time to play hide-and-seek with me and engage in all the plays I loved to indulge in as a child. My mum is on the tougher side and was mostly in the kitchen asking that I come to do my chores rather than play. In ‘anger’ I would go and do what she asked. She and my brother get along a lot easier than she and I do, but my dad, he is my pal.”

Linguist and mother, Dr. Maureen Chukwumah explained that it is easier for children to pronounce ‘dada’ than ‘mama’ because of the positioning of the lips.  “In saying ‘dada’, hardly any efforts are made unlike when you say ‘mama’ because you have to put the lips together first, before the sound is produced. But in a case where the child has an older sibling who already talks, he may say ‘mama’ first because of the interaction his sibling may have with their mother. Otherwise ‘dada’ is an easier word for them to pronounce.”