Who is a ‘simple man’ to a woman?

According to Jim Ako, there is no woman who wants a simple man for his simplicity. “All women say they want a simple man because they consider him stupid and weak. Women should stop saying they want a simple man. There is no such thing as a simple when a woman says that is what she wants her man to be. What she should be saying is they want a man on whose head they can have a jolly ride.”

His friend Nyo Ezekiel supports him saying, “it will be very risky for any man to take such a comment from a woman on surface value. In fact, if I have interest in a woman and she mentions such a thing, I will run for my dear life.”

Alex Oku’s take on the issue has a different perspective. “A woman who tells you she wants a simple man is telling you invariably that she wants a coward.” He adds that most women who say this have been through very bad relationships and just want to have peace of mind. In this regard, they may be sincere.

Interestingly, a woman Angela Eri agrees with the men. “I am a woman and as far as I know, no woman will say she wants a simple man except she has ulterior motives. Come to think of it, is there really any man who is simple? I don’t think so. He may have some very nice and admirable qualities, but when you see the flip side of him it is very nasty and ugly. A man may also present himself as simple just to lure you to him. Once he gets what he wants, you’ll begin to see the complexity of him and the not simple man he truly is.”

Could Maureen Agbi’s opinion be a confirmation that women do not genuinely want simple men?

In her view, any man is simple depending on what it is you are looking for in a man, says. “If he has enough money to take care of my needs and allows me to keep a job he is simple enough for me. I can ignore all his faults because I have a job and children to invest my emotions in and his money to show that he is somewhere in my life living up to his responsibilities.”

In all of this, the debate brought to fore that there are women who genuinely want simple men with no added meanings.

It’s okay to want a simple man as long as simplicity does not make him an absolute yes man, Linda Ozi states. “I want a simple man who is also assertive and won’t just go everywhere I push him to. If he wants my respect, he also has to know when and how to call the shots.”

Ngozi Chukwumah says this of a simple man. “A simple man wants simple things: a woman who laughs, friends that care, healthy and happy children, siblings he can rely on, a job that fulfils and provides, a wife that is true, and above all, the simple truth. As you can see, a simple man is a man of wisdom. To want simple things requires diligence, discipline and sacrifice.”

According to her, the above simple things cannot be bought with money. “Anyone can have money – and many have loads of money – but the simple things of life require a sacrifice of self that a complicated fool cannot fathom. Yes a simple man is a gift; rare but not scarce.”

“As a woman”, she says, “I do want a simple man.” To this, the women all concur. Indeed, who would not want a man with such a profile?

Why do men always read an extra meaning to the very simple things that women say? If a woman says she desires a simple man, why can’t men see that women actually mean what women say?

Yetunde Ibidapo explains that the desire to want a simple partner cuts across both divides. “If in a relationship a man tells a woman she is simple, she should watch her back because he is not necessarily saying so in the best of her interest. He most likely is exploiting her. If a woman says she wants a simple man, she means a man she can control, one who will do her bidding all the time. This is not good for a man, because at some point you should be able to put your foot down and insist on certain things to be done as you want them. Even as a woman too. That way you preserve your dignity and integrity. But in all, we must not forget that there are genuine desires for women to want simple men,” she concludes.