Who are your friends?

Friends! Who are they really? Who are those we consider as our true friends? We interact with a lot of people in our lives. Does that make them all friends that we can trust and rely on in times of dire needs in our lives? Most of us do not know the real meaning of the words ‘friend’, we just see everybody in our lives that we happen to have the same interest or choices as being friends.

A lot of people go through life with only a few friends while many more have no one they can talk about deep and troubling issues in their lives. They have no one to turn to in times of difficulty. They are at the mercy of life, standing alone and wallowing away in their troubled lives. No one wants to be in such circumstances. Given this, should man just pick on anybody and make a friend out of that? Certainly no!, but then who are those we can really call our true friends, because there are friends of circumstances and friends who are forever. They are always there for us through the thick and thin of our lives.

There is this famous saying that goes thus ‘do you really want to know who your real friends are? Then try falling or failing in life and see who is still standing by your side’. True to these words, many of us, from experience, know that people you never called friends are those who will remain by our side in times of needs. Such people could be your relations, neighbours whom probably one is not on talking terms with, passers-by, etc.

There are people who naturally have the tendency to attract people closer to themselves where ever they go; and through whatever they do. When they are faced with a difficulty, they are in a dilemma deciding who among their friends they can really call on because they have never really taken time out to sieve through the numerous friends they have and which really qualify to be called a true friend.

Life is full of ups and downs, because it is made up of people of different persuasion.  These friends are like a degree course. We only understand their true configuration and attitude when we study them, only then we would really understand the kind of friends they are. Then we can determine if they are friends for convenience or true friends.

Friends of convenience are those who are with you because of what they would gain from such relationships. Women are mostly into this kind of opportunity-seeking attitude. They are kind of friendship who are there when things are okay, but disappear when things go rough.  These kinds of opportunists go the extent of maligning their estranged friends as they use whatever secret told them in confidence against their benefactor.

“Most people prefer to operate with few friends and feel happy about it. It is better to have a few deep and loyal friends than have them in mass and at the end loose out in everything including your dignity and all you have built in life,” says Aisha Hassan, a business woman.  “I have seen instances where so-called friends have been responsible for broken homes and at the end of everything these so-called friends deserted the other person that they have helped destroy her home, leaving her with nothing to look up to in life. Some friends can be very dangerous and are only close to you to destroy you, because they are either jealous of you. For me I have numerous people around me, but I make sure that I put a boundary between me and them, that is the only way that I can make sure that I protect myself from koni koni friends,” she concludes.

The saying that you do not get to choose your family but you get to choose your family is very true. We have all experienced awful and great friends at severally in our lives. Friendship as a whole weather good or bad always has a way of teaching us a lesson in our life. “Some of the bad relationships and pretentious friends even though emotionally draining have challenged me to grow in life,” says Mikel Josh.

True friends are rare and very precious when you get them. A true friend is always there when you call on the person and never hides the truth from you, but will always tell you the truth even if it hurts you. A pretentious friend will always want to tell you want you want to hear and continue to deceive you and thereby leading you astray.

Staying with many friends for a long time would give you an ample chance to know your true friends as many would have one way or the other tried to bring you down or to take advantage of the friendship to their own advantage. At the end, only very few of will make it as our very true friends, who love us for who we are and not what we are.

True friendship is a two Way Street, as it is a place where we can gather trust, love and rely on each other. True friendship is experienced when you tell a friend something in confidence and you feel safe knowing that the secret is really save especially in your darkest hour.

It is not the number of friends you have that matters. If you have one trustable friend, it is better than having tons of untreatable, superficial friends. Friends are essential in our lives but then we need to be wise in choosing the type and kind of friends we have and keep.