When gossiping is impossible

Sadly, the person who is laughing out loud and capturing the attention of virtually everyone in the room while gossiping about someone who is not present is not as happy as he or she seems even when sometimes we all know the stories are partly true. However, gossiping gives gossips an escape from their own dull world.

Forming an impression about someone even before you get to know him/her well and automatically judging them because you believed all the lies told against them can be wrong. A lot of people feel better about themselves when they put others down. People do not like to be talked about, yet they do it anyway, because they are biologically predisposed to be very interested in the various relationships between people.

The people we usually want to gossip about are people we are jealous of because of one reason or another. We don’t have to look very hard to find something to be resentful of and gossip about. Whether it’s another person’s career success, appearance or wealth, we simply imagine that they’re much happier than we are. Gossips can be found in just about everywhere. Some will say it is harmless fun, but rarely is that the case.

In fact, gossip is a great way to destroy one’s self-confidence. People gossip because they feel powerless and not in control of their situation. Gossiping is an attempt at gaining back that control. It’s also sometimes used as a way to boost self-confidence, but it ends up doing the exact opposite. If you find that you do gossip, you need to take a look at what’s happening in your life.  

Sometimes, the main reason behind gossiping is envy and jealousy. When someone is envious of someone else, he might gossip about him in order to let people hate him. Sadly, envy and jealousy stem from lack of self-confidence and gossiping about someone because you are jealous of him only means that you need to re-examine and fix your self-confidence.

Some people might try to defend gossiping by saying that it’s the result of boredom, but this is incorrect. The truth is that boredom will lead to gossiping if the person is weak, frustrated, having low self-esteem and completely left out. However, if the person were free of psychological weaknesses, he wouldn’t gossip even if he was bored simply because gossiping won’t be an option either. If you still gossip, then it’s time to stop. In this regard, the best thing to do is to be strong and look beyond your present.

By focusing so much on another person and what they have, we forget about what we have. We become ungrateful. We spend so much time comparing ourselves to others that we fail to develop our own talents and abilities. At this point, it is best not to worry about what someone else is or can do. Concentrate on being the best you can be. When you do, you will feel better about yourself.

Gossiping can be very hurtful to people, even damaging to their careers. This damage can occur whether the gossiping is factual or not. Even worse, it can last a lifetime. Gossiping causes trouble, yet it appears that human beings may be socially geared for gossiping.

Nobody likes it when people talk about them behind their back, whether they are spreading lies or telling the truth that you don’t want people to know. Avoiding gossiping can be hard to do. We are human, and for that reason alone, we are bound to want to do things that we know are bad and wrong, especially things that we think we can get away with. But we can and should avoid gossiping.

The damage done when we gossip is too much, especially that people will no longer trust you when it becomes obvious that you’re a compulsive gossip. They will wonder what you’re equally saying about them to other people. They’ll also feel that if they tell you something in confidence, you will spread that information. Once you lose your integrity, it’s very hard to get back. Somebody who gossips will worry about what others are saying about him/her. You’ll end up making yourself paranoid when you probably don’t need to be, and as such, get hurt.

To avoid getting involved in gossiping, when somebody approaches and asks if you know anything regarding another person, always try to avoid listening to that person in the first place. Quickly praise the person and move on. This will automatically stop the gossip. Also, beware of the people who like to gossip the most and people who are too inquisitive about other people. Be blunt and tell people you do not like to gossip. This could lose you some friends, yes, but that is better because eventually if you are not careful, their conversations will be about you when you are not around to defend yourself.

If the gossiping persists, you can tell the person that you’re not comfortable about talking about other people or that you will ask the person and you will be surprised at the kind of excuses they will make over why you shouldn’t do that.