“Do you find yourself in situations where you are open to friends but they end up in one way or the other destroying your success or plans? I have found myself too many times in such situations that I now find it difficult to talk to a supposed friend genuinely. I have come to a conclusion that most times people are envious of me because I can’t understand why I would tell a friend about a successful project I was able to execute and she keeps away from me for some months, and only come back when she needs a favour from me.”
The above was the lamentation of a lady who would prefer to remain anonymous. Somehow, we all must have found ourselves in such situations and most times end up regretting being friends with such people. Womanhood samples the opinion of some respondents.
Zainab Sulaiman, 40-year-old accountant, asks “Who has a negative relationship helped? We certainly have all faced such negative minded people in life, who only think they are the ones among their clique of friends that should be seen as successful. These sorts of people are never really happy for anyone’s progress and will certainly never do anything to help any of their friends’ progress. My advice is: know who your friend truly is, and if you don’t find any, please stick to your inner self as friend. That will certainly free you from all the bad intentions of two faced friends.”
Ebele Iwobi, 40-year-old lawyer, says “The problem with us (women) is that we tend to discuss everything with so called friends, forgetting that most people do not have good intentions towards our progress. It’s not everyone we discuss with that values our success. Since my days in secondary school, I have learnt to discuss less with friends, keep my secrets, plans and even relationship to myself. That has since worked for me, not even on social media would you see me flaunt sensitive things about myself, never! My mum always says to my elder brother ‘The evil eye is real; never take everyone on face value’, and I took that to heart and applied it to my life. That has been my guiding principle and today I am more than glad that I took that advice.”
Shola Adeniyi, 38-year-old entrepreneur, says “Sometimes people invite trouble for themselves by announcing all their plans and flaunting their success in the face of their friends. How difficult is it to keep your secret to yourself? Especially, when you find out you are the only person amongst your friends doing well. Showing off will certainly attract envy and negativity towards you.”
Jane Emeka, a consultant, says “That’s women for you; always coming up with hatred for people who are making progress in life. I will suggest we learn to keep our good news to ourselves and let people see the successful result at the end of everything. But then, who needs friends who are of no benefits to us? Keep your head high and forget people who are of no benefit to us. I found peace and rest of mind when I decided not to have friends anymore. I cut off the tight circle and since then I have been living a free life. Jealousy and envy are some of the things we face when you have a circle called close/best friends, not for me anymore.”
We all have friends, as well as those we classify as true friends. When those we consider as close friends act funny, all we can do is to reconsider where we classified them earlier. It is not everyone we talk to or associate with that is a friend. Those who you eventually called friends need to be deserving of it and must have earned your friendship.
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