When a VC tackles parents

It is usually not my goddamned business what happens in the glorified high schools passed on as private universities. But even in hell, miracles happen. When I read that 17-year old Peter Arotiba beat 1.9 million other candidates to clinch the medal as best overall candidate in the May/June WAEC exams in West Africa, I wasn’t surprised. His dad or uncle Arotiba was my senior at ECWA Secondary School, Mopa in the 70s. He was a record breaker who was ‘conscripted’ to teach his juniors immediately after graduation because his IQ is above average.

So, when I read that my namesake Rt. Rev. Dapo Asaju, the vice chancellor of Ajayi Crowther University has written parents withdrawing their privilege of social interaction with him, I naturally became curious. I have heard only good things about this gentleman who shares my surname though not a relation. The reverend gentleman’s 8-point message truly explains why Naija would forever make developmental motion without movement.

Super rich parents who send their wards to private universities don’t want to be grouped together with the lumpen kids who wait for the generosity of the quota system for admission. They could afford to send their children to Ivy League schools if admission was based on loads of cash. But the abroad students are known for their wild parties and generous use of hallucinogens often resulting in deaths or further mental degeneracy.

Ajayi Crowther parents are not happy with the reverend gentleman for treating their treasured wards worse than they treat their domestic staff. A student had a threesome on campus, probably recorded the tryst and posted it on social media. For that, he was disciplined – whoever heard of such insolence. There are lots of such videos on porn portals, not that one expects a reverend to know that.

Rich students are laggards. ACU sets a resumption date and time, but the rich stragglers choose African time. Rev. Asaju keeps them perambulating at the gates thereby exposing them to polluted air. Superrich parents don’t like that and because the VC’s phone is within reach, they protest. VC notices students would rather play with their phones than go to the state of the art library built for their use. Instead of creating a disco hall and bar to bring them in, he invented compulsory library time believing the worn cliché that readers are leaders. Sacrilege. These kids see Oyo campus as enough punishment. They would rather snooze when lectures were supposed to be going on – so what? Who lectures epp? The VC introduced lecture time lockdowns -too much policing.

VC Asaju lives in Anglican Lalaland. The KJV earth and its fullness may be the Lord’s; rich parents administer it and hope to bequeath it to their spoilt heirs. Common rules meant to guide the children of ewers of wood and drawers of water to the straight and narrow are not designed for application to pampered broods. Rich parents send their kids to private universities to buy bragging rights. Their future is secured by the accident of their birth. They do not need intelligence to sustain the heirloom; they could hire the brains from the best schools. Any VC who knows his place would let them live large.

I advise Rev. Asaju not to visit church nurseries on service days or ask volunteers who run them what manner of insult, physical and mental abuse they are subjected to for catering to pampered brats. Those who let the little rascals have their way often have testimonies of the goodness of the Lord as impressed parents eventually reward their indulgence.

Taking a privileged view of the terrestrial crystal ball, I see lawsuits in the future of this stringent vicar. He should watch it because, who discipline epp? Lawmakers scale fences without repercussions. Our ruiners promise heaven to get elected and hope the people beg God to perform the jobs they’re paid to do.

By the way, I see a business venture for anyone who would establish a private university where nobody is made to read or follow ACU rules. Looks like the easiest way to join the race towards automatons. I assure Rev. Asaju that these cultic, amoral, and unserious kids have a backdoor entry into the lucrative jobs at NNPC, Central Bank, NPA etc. Their national service space is reserved for Arsehole Rock and other places where they’ll never have to lift a finger. Most would adopt the Adebayo Shittu way to national service. Some would spend the service year hopping to London pizzeria and Harrods with stopover in choice Paris boutiques for the best cheese. They’ll fly across the globe in private jets, hosting wild parties and posting on social media. They’ll drive the latest Bentleys, acquire Ferraris and Bugattis and have other exotic cars tailor-made for them.

Rev. Asaju had better play ball, stop hoarding his phone number, for a slice of terrestrial nirvana before his reward in heaven. If he persists in this attitude, he’ll be endangering his life while unwittingly jeopardizing the future of his own children.

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