This message “When you see a man opening his car’s door for a woman, it is either the car is new or the woman is” was circulated online and has provoked some very interesting views from people who received it.
Although some men consider a man who deems it fit to open the door of a car for a woman a gentle man and this gesture appropriate, others like Jamil Umoru said, “Which kan yeye African gentleman be dat? Gone are the days men go begging, crawling, shivering, before even a good woman. Now it is a matter of choice.
Yet another, Ahmed Dahiru asks, “She has no hands?”
In response to Umoru’s comment, Alifa Baba begs to differ. “Men still beg and crawl in some instances just to ‘conquer a new terrain’ then the table turns as soon as they are through.”
In accordance with this Umoru also opines that these are the type of men who have insatiable desires and unquenchable thirst for any kind of woman. Adding: “By the way, how many such gentlemen are there? Such men are the ones who give an undue importance to women, and boost their egos unnecessarily.
Cautioning Mr. Umoru, Zara Tai said, “Watch where you step, remember you resided in a womb for nine months. Not unless that woman has done something gravely to offend you, which am sure she hasn’t, then all hope should not be lost in womanhood.
In line with this Baba asks if there is anything like ‘giving undue importance’ to women. “I don’t think so. Women have a deserved importance in the life of people like me. Without them, I would be sunk. In this context, this sort of gentlemanliness is not in the character of Nigerian men. It fizzles out as soon as it gets started. It is just a temporary bravado at best.”
Ado Ibrahim also adds that, “It is not about understanding women but according them the importance they have in the lives of men. Without women, most men’s lives will be chaotic.”
Ibrahim further states that, no one should dispute the fact that women need to be accorded respect and importance because no matter what anybody says about their negative sides they have impacted more positively than negatively in the lives of individuals and the society at large.
Speaking on neutral grounds, Chika Ikenna explains that, “The culture of door opening for a lady, which is also like stepping aside for a woman to pass or pulling out a chair for her to sit by men is something introduced into our culture by the West. Ordinarily I don’t think a Nigerian man would consider such an action an expression of his respect for his woman. We have our own ways of showing our women that we love and respect them and these are not necessarily expressed in ways that the public would see.”
She concludes saying that, women should not take it personal if a man does not do these things for them. “I am sure even the oyibos don’t remember to do it all the time. Therefore women should not include this as one of the qualities they want in a man.”
It is just that opening the door of a car for a woman is an absolutely foreign gesture to us in Nigeria, said David Itodo. “We have our own ways of making our women know that we appreciate and value them. But if as a man that includes opening the door of your car for her to step in or puling the chair out for her to sit, then by all means do it and do it with all the pleasure in your heart.”
Itodo emphasised that many men in reality may not mind extending such gestures to their women. They may not do it because they are scared of being ridiculed and called ‘woman wrapper’. “Otherwise what is there in doing such? It does not make you any less a man or more manly.”
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