Nevertheless, these relationships can, and often do, withstand the test of time. It is true that some of them fail, and this could be based on the fact that couple with a significant age difference may have little in common; depending upon how wide the age gap is. They are not always able to share the same interests, and they may be at different stages in life. However, many of these couples are able to respect their differences, and focus their attention on what they do have in common. They are not embarrassed by their relationships, and they often take great pride in them. They simply enjoy the love they are experiencing, and often, over time, they forget that age-difference exists at all but busy bodies never let them forget, always reminding them especially the woman that she is older and should not tolerate any rubbish from the man since he is much younger than she is!
Women have problem of being judged socially. They worry about what their parents would think and what their friends and society would say. So they avoid the situation of having to marry a much younger man by backing off, citing age as the only problem to their happiness.
“Sometime back I become involved with a woman, almost nine years my senior. We had lot of fun, we talk, we go places, we enjoy each other’s company and we make each other laugh and smile all the time. However, we kept our budding relationship secret, as we have mutual friends, so if it didn’t work out, it would all still be ok in our social circle. Then the bombshell….She said that it was a shame we couldn’t be more than lovers because of the age gap. Now don’t get me wrong, I respect her wishes and I respect her opinion, but what a terrible thing to say!
I’m perfectly capable of everything she wants in a relationship, but to say that I’m too young was not fair to the relationship. Though I understand that she was not herself when she said this, she was more concerned about what the society would say about her” says Thomas Ikechukwu.
”To be honest, I truly believe that we would have been together now if not for her opinion of how our being a couple would be viewed by other people.”
Why is age such a factor in relationships? When does “younger than me” become too “young for me”? And why is an age gap such a difficult thing to bridge? And why is it okay for older men to be with younger women, yet older women with younger men is frowned upon socially?
As glorious as older woman-younger man relationship can be, they are definitely not without problems especially in our kind of society. Even on the part of the woman the fears of her growing old before her husband is one that will eventually affect their intimate life. In addition to whatever pressures from friends and families, who may find the relationship difficult to understand or accept, most times it forces couples to go underground for quite some time which could also put some strain on the relationship.
Marriage is not about who looks younger or older, it is about love, mutual respect and understanding. Age is a problem for a lot of people. I’m sure at some point everyone has heard objections from friends and family like “You can’t be with him, he’s far too young for you”. An age gap is a popular reason for break ups. What hope is there for you if you fall for someone, who is indeed too young for you?
When the love is there, and the foundation is strong, these relationships can enjoy a high level of success. The common belief that all individuals in a relationship with an age-difference seem to share is that age is merely a number. Couples who are of the same age bracket are at much risk for failure as those who are not, and both types of relationships have an equal chance of success. The keys to all relationships are love, trust, mutual respect, and loyalty. Age is of little concern when the couple’s intentions are pure, and the love between them is genuine. Age should not be a factor as long as true love exists.
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