People rarely think or plan ahead for what they would do if their spouse cheats on them because everybody wants to believe that they are ‘special’ and ‘enough’ for their spouse and as such, he or she would ever remain faithful. The reality however is that some married people or some in committed relationships actually cheat on their partners.
So what would you do if your spouse, fiancée or boyfriend decides to cheat, and you find out?
Linda Chris, a journalist, said she would confront him. “If I catch my boyfriend cheating, I will confront him, not right away of course because tempers will probably be high.” Linda said she would give him some space to figure out what he truly wants.
A marketing executive with a health and wellbeing organization, Ahmed Ola Noah, said his reaction would be dependent on some factors which include who she is cheating with and his mood at the very moment he finds out.
A client relationship manager who identified himself as Tee-Jay said: “I think the first thing I’ll probably do is to try to be as calm as possible and reach out to someone I trust for advice before taking action. Secondly I will be direct with all my questions, find out what happened in the relationship that led to it.”
Tee-jay added that cheating and its consequences are the most devastating moments in a relationship as it turns one’s whole world upside-down and one begins to look at everything in the relationship as a lie, and self-esteem plummets.
Kayode Micheal Melchizedek said the way he finds out would determine his reaction.
He said: “Whatever I do at that moment would be what I would do” but if it is not in the act, “I’ll most likely forgive her but it would be a painful experience.”
A student, Amaike Amaka, said though she is not married, since adultery is wrong, she might exercise her right to divorce her husband if he cheats on her.
“I know that scripturally adultery is condemned. So I have the right to divorce the man or forgive him,” Amaka said.
She said the basis to forgive would be dependent on the relationship and his attitude towards her over the years.
A Uzorchi Onwudinjo, civil servant, said: “If I approach him and he tells the truth, hiding nothing and it happens to be his first time, I will forgive him but not without making him realize how hurtful it is to cheat in a relationship.”
Sheri Meyers, a psychotherapist writing for Cosmopolitan, ‘Caught Him Cheating? 9 Things to Do Immediately’, said: “After you’ve caught him cheating or after he’s confessed you’re going to be in shock. The first thing you need to do is try to take a step back. Sleep well, eat well and exercise.”
Meyers said you should separate yourself from your guy for 24-48 hours before talking with about what happened while adding, “Mourn the loss because it is the end of the relationship as you know it.”
“If you are going to continue the relationship, make sure he is willing to make things right, make sure he has severed all contacts with the person he cheated with and he is taking responsibility for what he did,” she said.
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