What would you do if your spouse abused you?

A partnership like marriage is bound to have problems of its own. There will be arguments, disagreement and misunderstandings. And people have different ways of reacting to anger which may involve abuse. What would you do if your spouse abused you? LifeXtra takes a look at varying views about the issue.

There are different types of abuse. We have physical, mental, verbal and emotional abuse. None is better than the other and we should try our best possible to resolve altercations in a way that is not toxic. Abuses cause trauma for the victim who may never recover. We should try to be kind and be as calm as possible to our spouses when involved in heated arguments. Let us see what Nigerians think about this matter. LifeXtra takes a look.

Benjamin Okafor, a thirty-seven-year-old baker who lives in Ibadan told LifeXtra that he doesn’t believe in using abuse words in his home because of his children. “My wife doesn’t raise her voice at me. She would rather give me the silent treatment which I don’t like. But that is so much better than being abusive. The same applies to me. I have never beaten her or talked to her in a demeaning manner. But if she abused me either physically or verbally, then she should get ready to go to her father’s house. I am a civil person and I like my peace. So, if it gets to a stage where she can no longer give me peace then she has to go.”

Forty-year-old Gloria Owate, who is also an entrepreneur told LifeXtra that she already left her husband because he raised his hands on her. She said, “Well, I  left because of this same thing. He was so abusive. He would always beat me at the slightest opportunity. I ran for my life because I realized he would kill me if we continued like that. The best thing is to leave people like that before they send you to an early grave.”

Thomas Alero is a thirty-two-year-old man who lives in Taraba told LifeXtra that he will leave the house temporarily if his wife starts to shout at him which amounts to verbal abuse. He said, “I simply leave the house anytime she starts her problem. I used to beat her but there was one incident that landed her in the hospital and it put me in a lot of trouble with the police. So, since then I just leave the house for a few days. It is even her that will call me to beg me to come back home. But she can’t touch me that much I know. All she does is shout.”

Fatima Olaosebikan, a twenty-nine-year-old tailor said that she would not do anything if her husband abuses her. “I will not leave my husband because he beat me or anything. My mother did not leave her husband’s house because my father beat her. My husband has only beaten me once and that was under difficult circumstances. The truth is there is no marriage that doesn’t have its problems. We just have to try to make our marriage work”, she said.