What women want

The psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud once asked, “What do women really want?” and, famously, he was never able to answer it.  One won’t be wrong to ask: can women ever be satisfied with whatever is being offered them in a relationship?

Faithfulness: It goes as far back as the cave-dwelling times, social archaeologists say. Basically, she wants to know that you will be there when she needs you. It speaks to her most fundamental feelings about safety, and if she cannot trust you, it is scary and of no use being in the relationship in the first place.

Kindness: Forget the tough guy act. Women want men who are considerate, thoughtful and above all, kind. They want someone who will put an arm around them when they cry. They want someone who will care for them when they are down or sick. No woman likes or would tolerate a man who is just full of himself and cares less if the woman is okay or not.

They want a man who will listen but not yell at them. Women spend a lot of time nurturing others, and when they are in a relationship, they want the same in return. Most women who have extramarital affairs report that it was not sex that led them to stray, but the lack of attention and understanding.

Equality: Women want to be a partner in a relationship and not to be seen as slaves or extra baggage. In surveys about relationships, women overwhelmingly say that they want a partner who will stand by their side, be their best friend, celebrating their successes and commiserating with their failures. They want a man who will recognize and appreciate what she brings to the relationship, and not disregard them to keep them in a lesser, secondary role. They want someone by their side that would readily encourage them to grow and achieve their dreams. Knowing that being with a successful woman does not make them any less of a man.

Helpfulness: As much as men hate being nagged by women, women hate nagging men.  An offer to do some house chores that is not usually a man’s job, like laundry or the dishes, will make any man a hero in a woman’s eyes.

While researchers have established that women have an ability to multitask that is far superior to men’s, that ability makes many women take on more than they can comfortably handle. Even if she doesn’t have children, the average woman’s day includes everything involved with her job plus cooking, cleaning, laundry, remembering birthdays, planning get-togethers, paying bills, mediating fights between family members among a number of other things. Popping these six little words, “What can I do to help?” is like throwing a rope to a drowning woman. And remember, women are taught from childhood to see helpfulness as a sign of caring, so by offering her help, you are offering her emotional support as well, which every woman craves for.

Respect: Romance is all well and good, but in a long-term relationship, a woman wants your respect. No matter how smart and successful she may be, women handle the bulk of the emotional work in relationships (and, often, on the job, too). Studies have shown that they still do most of the housework even if they work full time.  Yet, almost every day they meet at least one man who thoughtlessly demeans them, whether it is by speaking to them as if they have no brain in their heads. Women want to be respected for the enormous amount of work they do, for how hard it is to juggle everything that they have on their plate. And how much emotional support they give the people around them and never getting any back in return.

So this is for every man out there, if you genuinely like the woman in your life as well as love her, respecting her shouldn’t be difficult. Just treat her like the special, unique and beautiful person that she is and deserves to be. For those preparing for Valentine’s Day these in simple terms are what women want in reality.