✕ CLOSE Online Special City News Entrepreneurship Environment Factcheck Everything Woman Home Front Islamic Forum Life Xtra Property Travel & Leisure Viewpoint Vox Pop Women In Business Art and Ideas Bookshelf Labour Law Letters

What internet has joined together…

As a young man, I never think of getting married abroad because those ladies there would never understand me no matter how hard I try…

As a young man, I never think of getting married abroad because those ladies there would never understand me no matter how hard I try to explain to them. We are different in terms of experience, attitude and orientation. I am not being discriminatory against anybody; it is just my decision to get married to somebody who understands me. I have been in the US for over five years and I have seen a lot of beautiful girls there, but I can’t imagine myself getting married to any of them because we can’t understand each other. I am colour blank, but I preferred getting married to somebody who understands me and who won’t misconstrue my actions, somebody who can tolerate my culture. Sometimes, you make fun to some people abroad and they take offence because they regard it as rudeness.

How did you meet your wife?

It is a very long story. I did my national youth service at the Office of the Governor in Akure, Ondo State in 2004. I met a beautiful girl there. Her name is Bunmi. We worked together then. We became mere friends. I never dated her because I was not ready for any relationship. After our youth service in 2005, Bunmi and I lost contact. She later heard that I was in the United States of America. We were chatting online and she asked if I had a girl friend. I told her no. I asked her if she had anybody she wanted to introduce to me. She answered in the affirmative.  Online, she linked me up with her friend, Patricia, whom I had never met before.  Patricia and I began chatting online. She sent me her photographs and I sent mine to her. I proposed to her and she consented. We dated each other for just six months online. Our love was like a spark. It just came like that and it became uncontrollable for both of us. So, I had to decide to come down to Nigeria to see her physically.  I was a bit afraid because I had never met her before, but from the way she was chatting with me online coupled with her photographs I had seen online, I was convinced that she would be okay for me as a wife. I was initially asking myself ‘what if this girl is handicapped, she is this or that?’ But I was prepared for any eventuality believing that if she turned out to be what I thought her to be online, fine; and if not, I would just use the chance to visit my parents and I would not have to lose anything for going home. After all, I was already fed up with staying in the US for so long. So, I decided to use the opportunity to come back home.

What was your first impression about Patricia when you met her physically in the first instance?

Her appearance confirmed the picture I had seen online. I was captivated! I even told her that she looked more beautiful than most of the girls I had seen in America. When I got to her house, I became more interested because of her mother who is very loving and nice. Her parents are from a good Christian background. So, I had to decide to get married to her.

Weren’t your parents against that decision?

When I made my decision, I didn’t tell my parents because I knew they would always want to influence my life. I have never lived my life depending on anybody’s dictates. I have always stood my ground and take responsibility for the consequences.  I knew if I had told some people the way I met my wife, they would had discouraged me.

Now that you are married to her, you are likely to have found her to be a different character entirely.

In her, there is nothing more any man could have loved to have in a woman. I don’t regret marrying her.  No marriage is perfect. There is no perfect condition in life and nobody is flawless. My wife and I try to reach accord any time there is a misunderstanding. We started dating online in July 2008; I came home to physically meet her in December 2008 and we got married on January 24, 2009. Just like that!