For a very long time, haughty southerners have taunted the North for serially producing sick or ailing Aso Rock Villa occupants. Contemporary history armed them with the arsenal. The North has had the misfortune of producing more unhealthy occupants of the Villa than any other part of Nigeria.
Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida developed radiculopathy shortly before leaving office. Compared to his successors, he should be happy to have left in relative good health.
His ultimate successor, Sani Abacha, died of natural causes inside the presidential villa opening an era of ill omen dastardlier than Reuben Abati’s misery of silent ringing telephones after office. Abacha’s successor, Abdulsalami Abubakar, handled Aso Rock like hot coals on a soft palm. He dropped it so quickly before he had time for a headache. There were reports his youngest daughter kept relaying nightmares that forced her dad to speed up his transition. True or false, the man left in good health and has had only one known health emergency since leaving the Rock.
Olusegun Obasanjo, Abdulsalami’s successor, spent his days playing politics and his nights playing squash. If he had any health challenges, it did not deter his boundless energy and knack for political intrigues. Umaru Musa Yar’Adua, the man Obasanjo chose as successor, was presumed to have a serious health condition even though he was much younger than any occupant of Aso Rock.
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Those conditions exacerbated after ‘winning’ his mandate. As the master of intrigues, Obasanjo had attempted to play down the health challenges of his handpicked successor during the campaigns. He campaigned more vigorously for his successor than the man himself.
Unable to shy away from the rumours of Yar’Adua’s health, Obasanjo made a call to his party’s candidate on a campaign podium publicly asking – ‘Umoru, they say you are dead. Are you dead?’ Only Obasanjo could have pulled such wool over the ever-suspicious Nigerian public with unquestionable success.
Obasanjo was able to disguise Yar’Adua’s illness; he was not lucky enough to conceal that of his wife. Stella Obasanjo went to Spain for an unofficially disclosed surgery and unfortunately returned in a coffin thus making her husband the first head of state to bury his wife in office.
Yar’Adua pulled through inauguration; but like all mortals, he eventually succumbed to the death that took his life having spent a substantial part of his mandate fighting his ailment in faraway Saudi Arabia. By the time he was flown back to Aso Rock, he had returned to palliative care. Even though the then Aso Rock cabal tried to keep normalcy for a surrogacy presidency on by inviting privileged citizens for an exclusive ‘view’ of their ailing president under a no-disclosure agreement, Yar’Adua did not make it. He became the second head of state of northern extraction to die in Aso Rock.
Throughout his six years in office, President Goodluck Jonathan did not leave the country for a foreign medvacation. His wife, Dame Patience Jonathan, was not as lucky. By her own admission, she went to Germany to treat an undisclosed ailment and recalled ‘dying and resurrecting’ more than eight times. She returned to a state-sponsored thanksgiving service that earned her the sobriquet, Jesus of Okrika.
Even outside office, President Jones has maintained a clean bill of health prompting some of his fans to mute the idea of returning him to Aso Rock. Second terms should not be the exclusive preserve of ex-soldiers. Jonathan is free to return to demystify himself at his own peril.
Before Muhammadu Buhari became President, there were rumours that he was too frail for a return to elective office. If pictures of his frail and gaunt frame were proofs of ill health, this could have been plausible. Buhari dismissed the rumour mill and on one occasion challenged the reporter who broached the question to a three-kilometre race. It was a rhetorical challenge and the reporter was wise enough not to bite the bait.
Since his swearing-in, Buhari has spent a substantial chunk of his presidency convalescing in London. He has confessed to keeping a personal physician there since his days as petroleum minister. Those were the years before he and his co-putschists urged Nigerian Andrews not to check out and described our hospitals as ‘mere consultancy clinics’.
In eight years, Buhari has preferred his London doctor to build a working hospital for himself. His wife moved to Dubai reportedly to treat an unknown ailment. When his son had an accident from stunt motorcycle riding, he was flown to Germany for treatment. From all these, it is safe to conclude that even Aso Rock Clinic from 2015 to 2023 is worse than a mere consulting clinic.
In office, Buhari’s health condition and absence from the Villa led to the barmy theory that the real Muhammadu Buhari had died and been secretly interred. According to the purveyors of this Tales by Moonlight, the man who would handover to Bola Ahmed Tinubu on May 29 would be his body double codenamed Jubril el-Sudani.
If you believe that the presidency is jinxed to northern presidents, time might prove you wrong. The African continent is replete with ailing dinosaurs clinging to the office by the whims of their cabal. The Buhari of 2023 looked at least 20 years younger than the one of 2015 leading us to conclude that in Africa, elected office rejuvenates.
Barrack Obama did not return home for the magic portion and aged faster than his contemporaries in Africa. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was beloved for his boyish looks back in 2015 when he was first sworn in. Since then, the 51-year old has tried to hide his wrinkles with a beard before returning to his trademark baby face. England does not offer grooming guarantees to its male prime ministers before kicking them out.
Apparently, there is something about the French diet that preserves the young looks of its prime ministers. Emmanuel Macron has survived political upheavals but retained his youthful looks. This is why it is encouraging to see our freshly minted president-elect, Bola Ahmed Tinubu, chose to winter there.
Tinubu’s health status has been as controversial as any prospective occupant of Aso Rock before him. Pre-electioneering campaign shenanigans had seen his political enemies swearing that he has no energy to survive the rigours of campaigns. He took a brief vacation that saw his handlers release a picture of him on his exercise bike, but apart from his verbal and physical off-cues, Tinubu has proved his enemies wrong.
While most of his campaigns had followed the ‘dance and go’ syndrome, he managed to tour most parts of Nigeria without practically breaking down. Elections over, he has chosen overseas for his well-deserved rest, and of course to perform the lesser hajj.
As the touted builder of modern Lagos, it is rather disturbing that he did not build or equip a hospital qualified to handle his health challenges or a safe place to take a rest. His primary challenge would be to end health tourism for himself and his privileged class. The second would be to build a Nigeria safe for rest and development.
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