The 13th day of three different months stands unique in my life: in March it is my father’s birthday, in June it is my birthday and in December it is my late husband’s birthday, hence I chose December 13, 2020, as a very special day to mourn and appreciate my late husband, Prof. Abdulhamid Isa Dutse.
It was supposed to be his 60th birthday and we had a plan to organise a surprise celebration to thank Almighty Allah for his life, little did we know that Allah had the best of plans for him. Death shortchanged us by 69 days as he died on Monday, October 5, 2020.
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Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun! To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return. Mourning the death of a husband is beyond imagination. I have mourned my wonderful mother since 1997 and my beloved father for the eighth year now.
However, mourning a husband like Prof. A. I. Dutse is indescribable. While alive, he covered the wound for the unquantifiable loss of my parents.
Therefore, I write this tribute to my special man, “Oga mi”, as I fondly called him, with flowing tears that will continue to flow till my own time. As a Muslim, I have the firm belief that he has indeed returned to his creator.
Prof. Dutse was my best friend; with all the love, honesty and loyalty. We really shared the meaning of friendship. We confided in each other not as husband and wife alone, but as best of friends, and as a brother and a sister. I was his “confidant” as he called me. We also shared common interests. The 23 years we knew each other are really nostalgic memorabilia for me.
I have read tributes written in his memory by friends, colleagues, students, acquaintances and subordinates in relation to his work, clinical practice, teaching, administration and good qualities. To confirm the encomiums, his other part (personal life at home) which is an essential contributor to the impressions he imprinted on the thoughts of anybody that crossed his path needs to be “exposed” because it is EXCEPTIONALLY WORTHY TO EMULATE.
He was my big boss and senior colleague in the office and at the same time, my boss at home. I can therefore confidently attest to the testimonies as regards to his character.
He was described by his staff as the best Chief Medical Director (CMD), the best kawu (uncle) by his nieces and nephews, the best brother by his siblings and a great friend by his friends.
At the office, I knew him as a progressive leader with a remarkable fear of God and he was always guided by the teachings of great Islamic scholars and leaders. He was firm in decision making and a no-nonsense in terms of discipline and duty. He was also soft and compassionate to staff in terms of their welfare and was careful in handling their rights and privileges.
He also had great vision for training and development of individuals and groups to be able to excel in their endeavours. As a leader, he was also prudent with government finances.
At the home front, I consider him the best father and the best husband. He would have been the best grandfather if he had lived longer.
He was gentle, loving, patient, tolerant and exceptionally generous that he never left us to be in need. In his modest approach to life, he took great care of all our needs and never cared about my salary. His generosity extended to my siblings for who he covered for since the death of my father. He was a very loyal friend who was always there for me and was a shoulder I leaned on.
Prof. was a real family man. Amid his tight schedules and busy life, he had time for his family for outings, hangouts, travels, shopping, etc. He was also fond of gift surprises.
Although he was firm and steadfast in taking decisions, Oga mi was liberal in his dealings with us as he allowed us handle our lives the way we wanted within our human limitations.
As mortals, it was not always a bed of roses with Abdulhamid. If he got angry he would perform ablution and stay quiet. If he was at fault, he would apologise and withdraw any unpleasant action or statement. On few occasions he could be stubborn and only tactics of friendship could pacify and calm him down. Allah Sarki!
His relationship with neighbours was exemplary. He helped those in need and cooperated with them for mutual benefits as situations warranted.
Although Prof. would have been regarded as belonging to the high social status based on his intellect, talent and position, he was simple and humble despite his charisma and poise.
Prof. was a real encouragement to me in terms of religious activities. We were never tired of performing Tarawih and Tahajjud prayers in the mosque together for 18 years. He also encouraged me to organise Iftar for the needy every Ramadan. He encouraged me to contribute towards the development of mosques and Islamic schools.
Personally, Oga mi was a very good companion and a very good talker. We could chat and gist through the night or watch films. At other times we stayed up to keep each other company when we had papers or reports to write. When it was time for night prayers we separated rooms to talk to God separately.
Upon all the above and more, Abdulhamid had a strong fear of God with which he handled the family. He had his ways of balancing the equation of being just and fair to both his Mecca and Medina as he called our two homes. I happened to be the Medina.
We spent the last seven days of the remaining eight days of his life together in Lagos following a referral by the cardiologists at the Aminu Kano Teaching Hospital (AKTH) to go for angiography to detect the chest pain he complained of on September 11, 2020.
While in Lagos, we discussed a lot, recalled good memories, appreciated good times and had excellent prayers.
However, he never gave me a clue as to whether he knew the end was close. I was also not told by my uncle, Abdullahi Adam (Abba AA) who was our host in Lagos whether he gave him any clue about his death. I only recall him telling the doctors that he had never expected a long life and that for any additional year of his life he considered it a bonus.
He requested me to forward to his phone the pictures I snapped him at the hospital. When I did, he replied, “An eventful 60th year! Allah sa mu cika da imani.” We did not know that the countdown was ending.
We returned to Kano on Sunday, October 4, 2020. We were picked from the airport by his childhood friend, Mr. Omar Faruk Ibrahim. He dropped me at home, saw the children and left with all thanks and hugs with a promise to come back later. The hugs broke my heart without understanding what they meant.
Throughout that afternoon, I continued to receive calls from family and friends for our successful return. Prof Mahmud called to arrange to visit later that day.
As God destined, Abdulhamid did not come back that evening to Medina because he was with his brother, Habibu, up to 11:00pm. As early as 06.28am on Monday October 5, I sent a Whatsapp greeting to him but there was no response. At 01:02am, I missed Abdulhamid’s call while in the kitchen. I called him back at 10:06am only for me to hear his voice in distress saying, “Bani da lafiya.” He told me he had spoken with Prof. Mahmud. He asked me to follow Prof. Mahmud and also arrange for a wheelchair because he could not walk.
I quickly went to the hospital at the ECG Unit and met Prof conscious and reciting the kalimatus shahada. We proceeded to the ICU. I was told to be on standby because arrangements were being made for us to return to Lagos via an air ambulance.
At 08:20pm, Prof gave up his last breath! Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun!! His sight while he was breathing his last will forever remain fresh in my memory. I am only consoled that he died a befitting death that any Muslim is praying for.
The Almighty Allah indeed answered his usual prayer, “Allah sa mu cika da imani. Allah sa mu gama lafiya.”
For every position he served, he would say, “Better leave when the ovation is loudest.” He never wanted to overstay. Abdulhamid actually left us at the time he was needed most. We needed his wisdom, support, judgement, humour and love. Allah knows best and He loved him most. He returned him to where he belongs.
Allahu Akbar! May the soul of Abdulhamid Isa Dutse continue to rest and be uplifted to the highest standards in aljannatul firdaus, amin.
While I recall your words of consolation in 1997 at the time of my mother’s death, you advised me to be strong; to make her know in her grave that she had a dependable daughter to take care of my siblings the way she would have continued to do.
As I pray for the repose of your soul now, I also pray that I should be a strong mother to take care of the children you have left behind in the way you would have wanted to bring the best out of them. Ihdinas siraadal mustaqim.
