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Three ways to use the media to actualize political ambition

As teenagers preparing for WAEC, our economics teacher told us that there is a simple way to be popular in school. Just look for the most popular student and fight him. That way, you would piggyback on his popularity and you would also be popular. The fight would be mentioned. He would be mentioned; and therefore, you would be mentioned. 

That’s a crackpot idea because, in some schools, fighting is grounds for expulsion. So why would a respected teacher give impressionable teenagers such a crazy idea? I honestly can’t say. 

But it works. Prisoners use it to establish presence and dominance. A case in point is “For Life,” the TV series. A criminal was transferred from another prison to the prison of our protagonist. The first task he assigned himself was to target the most influential prisoner – the “inmate counsel” – who also had access to and was trusted by the warden. He forgot everything else. To achieve his goal he employed subtle intimidation, explicit threats to family members outside the walls of the prison and playing one gang against the other. 

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When it was clear that he had compromised the most influential person among the prison population, the entire house, including the correctional officers, acknowledged that he was the new king. 

It was after that acknowledgement that he set about launching his other diabolical schemes. 

In politics, the idea is to look for the most newsworthy person in your area. Whatever this person does, the media would report. If he visits someone, the media would speculate about it. If he receives visitors, the media would report. In short, whether he acts or he receives an action, it would be reported. Because he is a newsmaker. 

The idea is to get him to receive an action from you. So attack this person’s idea and be consistent. If the media doesn’t report it, write opinions yourself in the newspaper. Use his name in the title. But don’t be abusive, if not the paper would drop it. Just disagree. 

Some authors on Amazon use famous people’s names in their titles to gain visibility. And some do succeed. They become famous by using renowned names, celebrities or famous book titles. 

Another way is to find a huge cause to fight. Experts in politics say that it is easier to mobilize people against a cause than to mobilize people for a cause. So don’t fight for a cause, your cause should be to fight against a monster – whatever way  you define it, it’s your monster. 

One big cause I wish someone would fight is money politics. It looks invincible here. So it is the kind of beast you can fight for several years – which is fitting for your 10-year plan. Reporters look for fresh perspectives to report. 

I was reading a book recently where the author mentioned that what we call stomach infrastructure in Nigeria was practised in America.  Yes, politicians simply buy people’s votes with regular household items like salt. Americans have graduated from that kind of voting buying now to completely pocketing the candidates through campaign donations and lobbying. We have picked up the baton. 

But to achieve any of the above-mentioned, the secret is consistency. That is why you have to believe in your idea and be passionate about it. The passion will sustain you for the rough ride. 

The third idea is to identify a group of people and disagree with everything they say. Let’s say they are the establishment and you’re the underdog. Disagree! Disagree! Disagree!

If they do, disagree. If they don’t, disagree. If they sneeze,  disagree. If they yawn, disagree. 

If this group does anything, the reporters would look for you to get your quotes on the disagreement. 

I was in a room with my boss and Malam Nasir el-Rufai after he left office as a minister of the Federal Republic of Nigeria but long before he became a governor. I mentioned a columnist who wrote something about him. 

“Let me guess,” el-Rufai said, “he disagreed?”

“Yes,” I replied.  So be predictable that way. 

In sum, to use the media to achieve political fame you should find a group to disagree with, find a famous politician to attack or find a bad idea or monster to wrestle to the ground. Again, there are no guarantees in life. But it is a million times better to fight a good cause than to complain in the corner. 

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