Three simple keys to marital success

Ephesians 5:31-33, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. [32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. [33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

This and other scriptures define among other things, your liberties, limitations or boundaries, actions and outcomes if these things are followed.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of keys to succeeding and lasting in marriage, but there are three that I believe encompasses all of them and they come from the word cleave. They are stay with God, stay with your spouse and stay with yourself (your calling).

1. Stay with God. Jesus said in John 15:5, “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” Your productivity is determined by your connectivity. The stronger your connection, the more productive you become. Stay connected to Christ. He is omniscient, that is, He knows all things. He knows how to make it work. He knows how to take you from where you are to where you want to be. He knows how to fix any problem or challenge you might face. He knows what prayer you should pray to get the results that you want. How knows how to bring the best out of you. He is omnipotent, He has the power to deliver and protect you from every attack of the enemy. He is able to fix any problem in your life. He is omnipresent so there is no place the enemy drags you that He cannot reach to bring you out.

Stay with God in prayer. Jesus gave the secret of effective prayer in Matthew 6:6, “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”

God instituted prayer not just so He can meet our needs but much more so we could be with Him. He enjoys your company more than you enjoy His. He is in love with you. He went to the cross to prove it. He wants you to set aside time to be with Him as often as possible so He can enjoy your company and deal with whatever issues you might have in the process.

He doesn’t want you to feel                        guilty when you are unable to keep your appointment in prayer; He wants you to feel thirsty. He wants you to miss Him. When I’m away from my wife, I don’t call her to say Honey I’m feeling guilty I’m attending a meeting, or you are attending a meeting. I say, I miss you. This was the intimacy Adam had at the beginning. God took it so seriously that even after Adam sinned, He still showed up to keep the appointment, but Adam was absent.

When God came calling, He asked Adam, where are you? He was not trying to locate where he was physically, He wanted to make Adam realize his new spiritual location. His absence from the secret place, the place of intimacy was as a result of a bigger inner problem. He was backslidden inside.

When you lose appetite for prayer, fellowship, or the Word of God, it’s an indication that a shift has taken place inside you. When you lose intimacy with God you replace His glory with makeshift covering. You look for leaves to cover yourself. You pretend to be spiritual by doing religious things like reciting some prayers, fasting, singing with your eyes shut in the church, serving tables, etc. Instead of hiding in God, you are hiding from Him in social groups, prayer groups, women’s club, men’s club, philanthropic groups, etc. God is calling you to return to the place of intimacy with Him. What is Intimacy? Sharing inner thoughts with others in close, caring ways.

Jesus demonstrated this intimacy with the Father. It was so productive it prompted the disciples to ask Him to teach them how to go about it. Peter James and John and the rest of them singled this intimacy out as their priority. We will give ourselves continually to prayer and the word they said. Relationships break down when intimacy breaks down. Relationships are sustained through intimacy.

These cherished moments of intimacy is the basis of your spiritual strength. The absence of this results in devastating spiritual weakness.

The most important and most profitable activity that must take place in the secret place is not prayer. It’s not worship; the most important activity that must take place when you enter into the closet or secret place is SURRENDER, SUBMISSION! The secret place is the place where you come to surrender your sins to God. When Adam sinned, he ran away from God in fear and shame. This is the way we naturally react to our failings. We run away. But keeping away leads to more backsliding and frustration as the sense of guilt, condemnation and shame grows. But God doesn’t want us to run away from Him when we sin; He wants us to run to Him and not from Him when we fail. Just imagine the way He handled Adam after he had sinned in Genesis 3:8-11

2. Stay with yourself. 1Corinthians 7:20 says, “Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.” Your greatness is in being you. Your relevance is your gift. Your uniqueness is what makes you relevant. God designed your gift to take you places you cannot reach by yourself. Find out all your calling and give it your best shot. You will not only be happy and satisfied, everyone around you will be to. Happiness is contagious, so is frustration.
3. Stay with your spouse. Matthew 19:5, “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?” For better or for worse, cleave! For richer or for poorer, cleave! In sickness or in health, cleave! In good times and in bad times, cleave! When he or she is down, cleave! When he’s strong, cleave! When he’s weak, cleave! When he’s nice, cleave! When he’s nasty, cleave! Become an inseparable pair no matter what. Stay together in prayer, worship, and in dealing with life’s challenges.

I pray for you and every family, that forces of darkness will not succeed in pulling you apart. I pray for healing for every hurting man, woman or family, in the Name of Jesus. I pray for peace for every troubled marriage, in the Name of Jesus.

God will preserve you and keep you together. You will wax stronger and stronger. You will go from glory to glory, in the name of Jesus!

Bishop Dr. Charles Olowojoba is the General Overseer of Dayspring Bible Church Worldwide with HQ in Abuja, Nigeria & President, Dayspring Christian Ministries Int’l. Website: www.dayspringcmi.org e-mail: [email protected] Help line: 08035150515