Job lost loved ones, possessions, power, position and with it his prestige. David returned from his raid to discover that his family was gone. I lost my cars later lost my house and all my belongings to fire all within a short period. I came out with nothing except the clothes I had on.
No one’s life is an unbroken chain of victories. We all experience setbacks, defeats, losses and failures. We all make mistakes, as we go through life. It could be broken dream, broken marriage, broken relationship, failed business, etc.
HOW DOES ONE RECOVER FROM FAILURE?
How do you pick up yourself after a fall? How does one recover from mistakes? How do you come out of crisis better than you went in? How do you ensure that you successfully go through the valley without being buried in it?
Seven Steps To Recovery
I believe the following seven steps will help greatly.
1. Choose Not To Be Bitter. We all have the power to decide how setbacks affect us. If we choose bitterness, then we’ll only end up hurting ourselves – and we’ll also shut the door on our own happiness because we can’t be happy and bitter at the same time.
One of the things I’ve learned is that there’s absolutely no correlation in life between your experiences and your happiness. I’ve seen people go through shocking experiences who are able to maintain a happy, positive attitude, simply because they chose to do so. You are as happy as you choose to be.
One skill that will help people make the choice to be happy is learning to focus on what’s left – not what’s lost. God wants us to still be thankful for what we have. As I counsel people in crisis, I encourage them to make a list of all the good things in their lives. It is impossible to be grateful and depressed at the same time.
2. Find The Cause Of Failure. “Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways.” (Proverbs 20:30, GN)
Since failure is something every one of us will, at some time, experience, one of the most important skills you can acquire is the ability to respond to it in a godly fashion. It has been my observation that successful ministers know how to turn every failure into a learning experience – creating a stepping stone for future success.
The first thing to do when you’re faced with any failure is to analyze why it happened. Although there may be a variety of reasons (many out of your control) here are five common causes of failure:
a. When you don’t plan ahead
As the old saying goes, “If you fail to plan, then you’re planning to fail.” Proverbs 27:12 says, “A sensible man watches for problems ahead and prepares to meet them.” (LB) Moving towards your destiny requires a lot of planning. Remember, Noah began building the Ark long before it started to rain!
b. When you think you’ve “arrived”
Remember the lesson of the whale: Just when you get to the top, and you start to blow – that’s when you get harpooned! Proverbs 18:18 says, “Pride leads to destruction and arrogance to downfall.” (TEV) John Maxwell once said, “When Jesus walked through New Testament times, people had trouble seeing him as God; when some pastors walk through their churches, people have trouble seeing them as human.”
c. When you’re afraid to take necessary risks
The fear of failure can cause failure. We worry about what others will think of us if we fail, so we don’t even try. Fran Tarkenton says, “Fear sets you up to be a loser.” We fail to take advantage of golden opportunities. ‘Fear of man is a dangerous trap.’ (Proverbs 29:25, LB) One way I encourage my staff to try new things is I tell them they are allowed to make one mistake a week, as long as it’s not the same mistake over and over!
d. When you give up too soon
Many times, success is just around the corner. The Prophet Daniel tells of a time when he prayed for days and days, never getting an answer to his requests before God. Then one day, in a vision, he sees a mighty angel.
“Do not be afraid, Daniel,” said the angel. “Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.”
Although God heard Daniel’s prayer and dispatched an angel immediately, that angel was delayed 21 days due to a great spiritual battle: “Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come.” (Daniel 10:12-14, NIV)
I’ve often thought, What would have happened if Daniel had stopped praying on the 10th day, or the 15th or the 20th?
We must always remember – the game is often won in the final seconds. If at first you don’t succeed – you’re normal! Keep on keeping on!
e. When you ignore God’s advice
The Bible is the owner’s manual on LIFE. It’s filled with practical instructions and guidelines for work, home, finances, relationships and health. When we fail to follow these directions from God, we’re only asking for trouble. How many times have you run face first into failure simply because you ignored the Word of God? ‘There is a way that SEEMS right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.’ (Proverbs 14:12, NIV)
3. Accept Responsibility For Your Own Failure
If you’ve made a mistake – admit it! Welcome to the human race and don’t blame others. To blame is to “be-lame.” Losers love to blame – the economy, the boss, their spouse, their congregation, their deacons or even God for their misfortune. Taking responsibility frees you from a defensive posture and gives you the clear-headed vision necessary to determine what went wrong.
Back in 1974, the UCLA basketball team had an 88-game winning streak, and was leading Notre Dame in the 89th game by 11 points. But then they lost.
The headline on the next day read, “Coach Wooden says ‘Blame me!’”
Wooden was a winner; winners never blame others for a failure, and they never make excuses. “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.” (Proverbs 28:13, LB)
(To be continued…)
Bishop Dr Charles Olowojoba is the General Overseer of Dayspring Bible Church Worldwide with HQ in Abuja, Nigeria & President, Dayspring Christian Ministries Int’l.
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