Gone are the days when love wasn’t based on materialism; the good old days when women embarked on love journeys with struggling men who were mostly palm tappers, hunters, and farmers. Then, two hearts would be glued together in mutual affection and end up in a marriage of awe.
Lately, the unhealthy desire for materialism has changed the narrative.
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The 21st-century women have exchanged what should be the role of their fathers and families for that of their innocent, struggling partners. They put the weight of financial requests on young men, which continues to knock them down. The weight of a man’s pocket now determines the sincerity of love. Women now stoop to the lowest level, turning relationships into anti-poverty schemes. This has cheapened the honour that men in the present time have for women.
Successful marriages used to be sacrificial for both men and women, but not until decency has made its way out of today’s marriages. Virginity was considered to be one of the yardsticks for marriage and pride for the bride and her family, young women were betrothed to their prospective husbands, who would hype them upon copulation. Today, pre-marital sex has turned into the order of the day, and the hype around virginity has slowly diminished.
A thorough investigation into each family was another factor that solidified the old marriages, where spouses engage in thorough background checks of who they’re about to spend the rest of their lives with. Lately, marriages start with a mere cruise on social media. “How many likes and retweets to get your love” and similar words have started many marriages where background checks weren’t given consideration.
Couples prioritize marriages then and now the wedding is what is being given consideration. The reason we hear of divorce after glamorous weddings. A marriage that can weather marital storms is what should be given priority, not just a shining day to wine and dine in the presence of family and friends.
No thanks to civilization and staying “wokè” which has wreaked havoc on most marriages. Couples have been doing the wrong things lately, but only think they are acting civilized.
It behooves the new generation of marriages to know that abiding by the doctrines of the ancient marriages does not necessarily mean being archaic, while staying”woke” in new marriages does not mean that a marriage that would sail, too.
The couples of now – like the old couples – should do well to prioritize needs over wants, for marriages, where wants are given priority over needs, would hardly sail.
Abdulganiyy Zaynab Abake writes from Ibadan
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