The Golden Years – There Will Be Disappointments (III)

Over the last two weeks, we have discussed the reality that as in all stages of life, things can go wrong in retirement. Specifically, last week, we brought out the need to have the right mindset, be comfortable in going through the problem-solving process, and what the principles of problem-solving are. Today we will conclude on this by taking up what we can practically do when ‘things go wrong’.

Decide and commit to what you need to do: Solving a problem is about understanding the ramifications of the situation at hand. Typically, we should go through what the consequences of not doing anything might be and also what the benefits of taking appropriate, successful actions might be.  We should then come up with options on how to deal with the issue and choose exactly which option or combination of options should be taken. This is the moment when we decide to ‘fight’ rather than ‘flee’ from a situation and ‘how to fight’. This is important so that we resolutely commit to doing what needs to be done. Without resolve and commitment, even basic issues would linger, remain unresolved, fester and compound!

Take action: Our understanding of the problem, its analysis and commitment to resolving it amounts to nothing if we do not take action. As they say, taking action is where the ‘rubber meets the road’. Indeed, at the end of everything, it is the actions we take that get us close to success in any matter we may be at.  Taking action is spectacularly empowering and the moment we begin to work on a matter that initially looms larger than life, it begins to diminish and our confidence will gradually grow until we fully succeed.

Taking action involves gathering your required resources and putting them to work. Resources required to solve problems could include our intellect, time, finances, relationships, emotions, etc. in various mixes. Again, by the time we are retired from active career engagements, we really should have an abundance of most of these resources and should use them responsibly and legitimately to protect and enhance our situations.

Seek help: Some of us are very poor at calling on others for help because we either feel self-sufficient or just don’t have the emotional capacity to do so. ‘It is OK’ if we don’t call on others for help as long as we can sort things out ourselves. But if we need the help of others, we should not hesitate in doing so. The conditions for calling on others for help are that; First, the persons or organisations we want to call on should be competent and have the capacity to provide the help, support or services we need. It is interesting that for most of the problems we face in life, some persons or organisations have passed through and handled or simply have the understanding and capacity to help us solve them. Involving others who can be empathetic but are not directly ‘in the equation’ also has a way of giving us different perspectives about the problem that we are not necessarily able to see because we are a variable ‘in the equation’; Second, we should trust them enough to ensure that where confidentiality is involved, they will keep it; Third, if we need to pay for their services we should do it on terms we mutually discuss and agree.

Cut your cost: Sometimes, sadly, no matter our best efforts, we aren’t just able to turn things around. Unfortunately, many of us are not able to distinguish between when we can fix things up and when it probably is ‘next to impossible’ or simply doesn’t make sense. When we don’t distinguish between the two possibilities, it can be tempting for us to continue to sink good resources into a hopeless or senseless situation in the belief that we can salvage the situation. It may, however, not necessarily be so and any additional resources wouldn’t change anything but go down a bottomless drain. I think regardless of what they teach and tell you, there are times when it is wise and sensible to ‘give up’ on some issues.

In some situations, just do nothing! As much as we are encouraged to be in control and ‘do something’, the reality is that there are certain times and situations when the wise thing to do is ‘nothing’. What these situations might be will be personal and entirely up to us because a problem for which it is wise for you to do nothing might be unwise for someone else to do nothing and vice versa. The guiding principle of ‘doing nothing’ is that first, doing nothing can bring benefit or, at the least, it wouldn’t exacerbate the problem. Interestingly, sometimes, doing nothing is all about the timing. This means it may not be appropriate to do anything at some point in time until after the occurrence of some other matters or simply the passage of time, and then it becomes appropriate to do something.

Evaluate the results and make corrections: As we begin to take action (or not) towards resolving an issue, we will begin to get the desired results (or perhaps not). Actions taken on problems begin to deliver results over different timeframes. So, sometimes we may begin to get results early while other times they can lag significantly behind our actions. We should be able to understand whether a lag is reasonable or not and either comfort ourselves or reassess our chosen course of action. This is where evaluation and the possible need for alternative plans come in.

Whatever issues might arise and whatever actions a retiree may decide to take, it is important to remain alert to the benefits or otherwise to their health, overall financial situations, relationships and their capacity to continue to be worthy role models and of value to themselves, their loved ones and the larger community.