The gift of talking

There are people who are master talkers and have carved a niche for themselves with talking or addressing people. These kind of people usually provoke great admiration for their ability to easily strike conversations with personalities familiar to them and even strangers and in the most unfamiliar settings.

Listening or looking at them, one may think it is an innate quality they have possessed all their lives. Or that they have the gift or talking or the gift of gab as it is otherwise referred to.

The truth is, the ability to talk or convey ideas whether in a small group or up on stage before a large audience is not an innate ability but an acquired skill. It can be learned, enhanced, and perfected. With the right attitude, information and the determination you too can learn to be a good talker.

To achieve success with talking to people, there are basic qualities you must possess. Top on the list is self presentation. The first impression the audience makes of you is important and you have to make it count. Your dressing plays the most relevant role in this area. According to peak performance expert, Peter Murphy, “You do not need to get the best couturier in town to have you packaged. All you have to do is to be dressed appropriately. It is one way of building your self-confidence and it will help you to act confidently.”

You can also warm the hearts of your listeners by dazzling them with your wealth and expanse of information. Experts advise that, you keep a pocket full of information and be up to date with the current events, and keep a mental list of good topics of discussion. These are handy tools to keep you ready to talk to almost anybody.

Another basic attribute you must posses to help you establish connection with the parties you are addressing, is to stay centred and focused. According to Murphy, “Develop the ability to shake off recent events that somehow ruined your day. Take a few minutes if you need to before engaging in any conversation.”

He also emphasizes that respect is very essential if you want to woo your listeners. “Respect the feelings, emotions and opinions of others. Everyone has the right to their opinion and it is healthy to agree that we disagree. Let every one have their moment to be heard and sincerely listen to them. That way it would give them a sense of importance.”

Eyes they say tell more than words do. Maintaining eye contact can do you a lot of good and go farther than you can imagine in the line of communication. It is one way of showing interest in the person we are talking to. Women, they say, maintain eye contact more than men but men could acquire the skill through practice. Movements or stray thoughts tend to sidetrack a person. Be aware of them and learn to ignore them advises Murphy.

Who also says, this will help establish a rapport. It is not an easy thing but sincerity is the key that unlocks the door in establishing rapport. Synchronizing behaviour or mimicking the pose, facial expression, gestures, body language, and tone of voice of the other person are ways of building rapport.

Listening, they say is serious business. It is easy to talk and talk but we defeat the purpose and lose the chance of establishing rapport. There are situations that are more important where active listening is imperative. You will not miss the cue for your turn if you listen attentively.

Adopt a positive attitude says experts. “Make sure your words, tone and gestures are all saying the same thing. Find out what you have in common, or if you seem to have nothing in common, adjust. Try to become the other person for a short time.

Always ask an open ended question. This will help the continuous flow of conversation and will help you and the group to keep the encounter alive and flowing with information.

Discovering how to connect with others and employing these strategies will make one successful in talking to people. Talk means to express, exchange ideas by means of spoken words or to convey information or communicate in any way. Take these simple steps and you are sure to make the act of talking to people fascinating and memorable for all. One day someone may come up to you and ask where you learned how to talk to people.