The farce called gender selection

According to the last census by the National Population Commission (NPC), there are more men than women in Nigeria. And in Nigeria today, many have come to believe that no matter the number of times a woman has given birth, she remain incomplete with a male child. A woman without a male child, so many Nigerians believe, cannot make a significant impact in the family.

Because of this impression, so many women are suffering in silence – not for not giving birth, but for not having a male child.

“You need to be in my position to know how it feels. I am speaking from experience; I had four girls but they are seen as lesser human beings. It got so bad that my husband abandoned us to live with the woman that bore him a male child. But I pray that all my tears today will be laughter tomorrow,” says Madam Oyekachi Mbafo.

Traditionally, Nigeria is a male-dominated society even as women have made tremendous impact in the lives of even the so called male personalities. The major problems women face in the society today is as a result of what is being started in the home front.

Women in this society of ours face different barriers and deep prejudice and discrimination. Most men argue that they prefer a male child so that the family name can be sustained. “Stories like these keep baffling me because of the ignorance of the men and sometimes the women who are educated, articulate and career driven. It is a depressing issue, if I may ask, what is so particular about the male child anyway? In the society in which we live now the women folk seem to be doing better than men in their chosen careers. At least I am aware of some women that are bread winners of the home, so what is the whole noise about?” asks Catherine Nathaniel.

“It is a trend that has taken a turn for the worse. Some men now use it as an excuse to take a second wife and only end up in the same situation producing kids that they cannot take care of.  I know of a family that wanted only three children but kept on having more children in the name of looking for a male child. Now they have to take care of seven female kids” says Hassan Bako.

He went on further to say that “it is only a stupid man that will blame his wife for having girl children. The women cannot impregnate themselves; they only give birth to what their male partners deposited.”

Danladi Awwal, a journalist based in Abuja, said he still remembers a court case between a man and his wife. “The wife went to a Sharia court after her husband threatened to eject her if she bore him a girl-child again. The judge decided the case philosophically. He asked the husband to write undertaking to only ejaculate male-producing semen while sleeping with his wife, when the man said he couldn’t, the judge asked him not to blame his wife for giving birth to girls again.”

He summed it thus: “Parents should know that it is the Almighty that decides the sex of the child, and those He blesses those He so wishes. Let parents remember those that have been praying for a child but are not blessed, yet they remain hopeful and prayerful. A child’s gender is also no determinant of how well the child will do in life.