Nigeria can work. Believe it. And the conditions to make that happen are not hard at all.
In fact it’s as simple as swallowing two tablets of the old analgesic – APC.
Tablet one is to deregister all opposition parties and leave only the congress for all peoples – All Peoples Congress (different from a gathering of apes).
Doing that would remove the cataract that’s blocking the APC leadership from seeing clear paths to the desired destination.
For it’s painful how people forget that the PDP ruined this country for a clear 16 years.
Apparently, they also took away the key needed to undo the damage, or how else does one explain the fact that after six years in office, the APC is still blaming the PDP for its obvious ineptitude in governance.
Well, its logical, our amalgamated nation is 60 years old and still holds Frederick Lugard responsible for the myopia of those who took over from him.
The second APC tablet would provoke a few outbursts, but tantrums have never stopped government in its tracks.
It would involve shutting down every media organisation that earns its reputation by criticising anything that the Buhari regime does or usually fails to do.
This second tablet is like killing two birds with one stone, it stops the press being used by the opposition and sends their media hirelings – the unfavourable columnists and editorial writers into the unemployment pool.
Journalism boasts of a few members making it outside their comfort zones.
Imagine sitting behind your binoculars at the Presidential Villa.
You are sipping free coffee and watching the foggy political drama playing out from different flashpoints.
Everywhere you point your compass, all you see is confusion.
You can’t see why editorials and wicked columnists believe that Muhammadu Buhari is socially distancing himself from needed governance.
A Katsina family lost seven children to a grenade carelessly disposed.
That there is a distraction from the drama at the House of Reps where rebellious opposition members manipulate scenes from a bizarre script in which NDDC officials sometimes faint as critics make unverifiable allegations all under qualified and absolute privilege.
The initial chief investigator is also a chief beneficiary of the NDDC largesse, kind of a robber sitting in judgment over a thief.
Then there is the Magu/Malami saga, a storm in a teacup that the media hypes to look like a tsunami.
Reading Malam Garba Shehu’s response to the emergent critic as a traitor, one rejoices at this editor-turned-public relations guru who is clearly in opposition to Thomas Jefferson in voting for a government without the press.
In his usually windy retort, Garba exposed how PDP regularly meets with newspaper editors and columnists to malign the regime and make Buhari look like a bad hire.
Lest we forget, it is true that the PDP ruined our nation for 16 years, and to signpost the horror, President Buhari recently named a railway station after Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, his predecessor and active arrowhead of PDP’s bad leadership.
Earlier, Buhari endorsed Akinwumi Adesina the man whose love for genetically modified crops almost wiped out rural agriculture, the mainstay of 70 per cent of rural Nigerians. Buhari nominated Adesina to head the Africa Development Bank, ADB. Buhari has endorsed Adesina’s bid for a renewal of term.
If that is not the best way to dishonour people who ruined a nation for 16 years, then the sun rises from the north.
It’s not in doubt that Buhari detests the PDP’s track record in governance.
Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, a PDP appointee was at the helm when Nigeria paid off all its debts to the IMF to loud applause.
Then she returned to preside over a borrowing that is now surpassed by Buhari’s penchant for going aborrowing.
You would think that, hating the PDP that much, Buhari would bring Ngozi and her co-travellers to trial for economic sabotage.
Not on your life, Buhari has just raised the hands of NOI to the world as Nigeria’s best candidate to head the World Trade Organisation, WTO.
Buhari is busy lobbying other African and global leaders to support her for that post.
A nation obsessed with the concept of enemies should pray to have enemies like Muhammadu Buhari who nominates people that promised and failed to deliver on Fresh Air for Next Level global appointments.
It is the classical example of setting up tables for your enemies and anointing them for a peaceful consumption of the meal.
This regime knows how to bring its enemies closer than its so-called friends.
We must thank Malam Garba for reminding us that Africa, the continent leading the rest of the world in scientific innovation, intellectual development, progress and peace has Muhammadu Buhari as its continental anti-corruption czar.
This anti-corruption poster boy and epitome of integrity endorsed Maina’s backdoor return into public service after he was accused of mismanaging pension funds.
He turned deaf ears to the backdoor recruitment into the NNPC, CBN and other luxury agencies.
This president truly hates being told where corruption is hiding because it might damage the saintly image of the country that only he can see.
This continental anti-corruption czar would deal with anybody outside the creed caught trying to outfox the master manipulators of corruption within.
He would heckle those who expose the corruption within because party and cabal membership confers privilege that is equal to Peter Odili’s perpetual immunity.
Garba Shehu reminds us that a generous General Buhari would not tamper with freedom of the press.
The evidence shows otherwise.
Things would surely be better if every critic’s foul mouth is padlocked and the keys dropped either from Third Mainland Bridge or in the tumult of the confluence of the rivers Niger and Benue in Sintaku.
In Garba Shehu’s world, a free press is one in which critics and the media are free to say and do as government directs.