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The demystification of the facebook generation

Now in the age where all innocence is lost, where many university graduates had to ‘sort’ their ways out of school, where lecturers have turned into even more vicious villains, preying on little girls and boys alike, our corpers were thrown into the fray, so that they can share part of the blame for the country’s failures, or so that their inadequacies could become the sauce for national and perhaps, international, derision.

Or maybe it was about cheap labour.  But when a commissioner from INEC revealed on national TV early in the day, that they (INEC) ‘assumed’ that the youth corpers were adept at using computers, I remembered the joke about ‘assumption’.  They say that when you ASSUME, you make an ASS of U (you), and ME.  When you assume, you embarrass everybody, including yourself!  The big men at INEC should have known better, having been around for sooooo long, that when they are faced with a make-or-mar assignment as the recent (or is it still on-going), voters’ registration, you must be ABSOLUTELY sure of your facts!

The plight of the youth corpers was made much worse by simple logistic issues.  Most had to sit in the open for 9 hours a day.  The machines and computers were not made for the tropic sun.  The one that captures fingerprints does not like being exposed to dust.  The corpers had to carry these equipments to the locations, using ‘okada’.  Most of them were unduly exposed to the elements, including anyone who wanted to ‘kidnap’ them and the equipments.  No provision was made for relief, or even for lunch for the poor corpers.  People had to lend their ‘i-pass-my-neighbour’ power generating sets just out of patriotism, when batteries went down.  Some big men sat on the corpers’ allowances, leading to mild riots in some states.  Good samaritans fed the corpers.  The corpers also used their phones to call the local INEC offices to request for things like backup printer toners.  The ones I spoke with told me no one refunded them for these phone calls and texts.  We saddled these poor, young ‘corpers’ with the greatest responsibility in the land and paid them peanuts, while our big men negotiate away the country’s, and the corpers’, future in smoke-filled rooms.

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It therefore broke my heart for the corpers, when one Mr Kerley, a major campaigner for President GEJ, supported Commissioner Soyebi’s (INEC) disappointment, by stating that all the corpers knew how to do, was signing onto Facebook to chat.  Indeed, some of the more laid back corpers were alleged to leave people standing on the queue to quickly ‘ping’ their friends using their blackberry(s), or to amend their ‘profile’ or post some pictures on their Facebook page, but the vilification from Mr Kerley was ‘below-the-belt’, for several reasons.

For one, President Jonathan declared for this job, first on Facebook.  While the rest of us were still speculating, the man went cyber.  Some foreign magazine articles wondered then if enough Nigerians had access to the internet.  Information Minister, Labaran Maku, also commended the president for ‘Bringing Facebook to Nigeria’ when they launched an embarrassing program called ‘Bring Back the Book’.  They had all tried to convince us that Facebook was the best product to make an entry into Nigeria.  The Minister recently denied saying so.  On the day this government sought to ‘bring back the book’, I happened to be watching local TV, and was embarrassed for several reasons.  Mr President’s famous book which he launched, was a compilation of Facebook messages from his many young ‘friends’.  I wondered if he couldn’t launch his PhD Thesis instead, since he hasn’t given enough thought to the Nigerian, or African or world situation as to have written even a pamphlet on such issues.

On the day they ‘brought back the book’, the organizers ended up alienating Nigerian youths from ‘the book’ even further.  The singular white man in their midst looked visibly embarrassed.  The event I watched, was dominated massively by our usual gallivanting musicians.  Tuface, Dbanj, PSquare, and all the other harebrained, sex-crazed musicians, were on hand, singing about women’s breasts and buttocks.  The president said that day, that CNN has officially recognized him as the world’s Facebook president, and that he had more friends on Facebook, than Barack Obama, the inventor of cyber-campaigning himself.  I was pained that the outing, which should have been solemn with book gifts to the students and book readings to edify their souls, ended up being another Bar Beach concert with a lot of waist-jiggling!

And now even the Facebook generation is being derided by the same people who lent them legitimacy and importance!  I have always been skeptical about the value of these social networking websites, including all these BB (blackberry) fads going on these days.  People are often disappointed when I tell them I have no BB.  People even buy these expensive BBs for their 8 years old children.  We Nigerians always shamelessly clamber up to technological fads, acquiring all the gizmos, while we produce absolutely nothing!  Many Europeans I know, still use the good, old Nokia 3310!  It is also because of this mental defect that Nigeria has the highest density of luxury cars than anywhere in the world today.  Yet we claim to be poor!

My verdict on Facebook is that it is for the idle.  A recent survey by the Americans even revealed that Facebook promoted narcissism (self-obsession) amongst its users.  Most of the Nigerian Facebook fanatics, just like other internet crawlers, are reactionaries, who abuse and curse people who are not like them, or ask for revolutions to start while they are comfortably ensconced in their flats in Europe or the USA.  Many these days use fake names because they are afraid of coming to harm because of their opinions.  Worst of all, many of our young people think Facebook can replace the good old book.  People of my generation grew up on books, and we are the better for it.  The president should have let the Facebook generation – his friends – know that they are missing out big time, on the opportunity to develop their minds, for spending time chatting away, when they should be exploring the wonders of books.  The shallowness of most books written by Nigerians these days is a culmination of this directionless-ness.

But there is one Facebook fanatic whom I must commend. At least for putting his name to his comments.  And that is the chap that was ‘jailed’ by Governor Sule Lamido (who I heard used to haul curses at Mallam Aminu Kano and the Emir of Kano in his young reactionary days).  This Governor Lamido is becoming one unpopular chap these days – amongst both the talakawas on the streets, and of course, amongst the Facebook generation online.  That is a terrible position to be!

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