They said 2014 is the make-or-mar year for the election so we must go and see Boka Mai Kunkeli, the most powerful witch doctor in Tafki State. We set out early in the morning for Kwankobilo, the abode of Mai Kunkeli. We had to bring along a young man who could find the route. Mai Kunkeli is such a powerful witch doctor, I was told, that he obscures the path to his forest abode such that even a person who has been there several times will not find the route.
Our guide, a driver, Maikahon Karo and Tsinin Kusa rode in a station wagon while Alhaji Gohe, my driver and I rode in my Jeep. Following the boy’s directions, we left the highway and drove on a dusty road until we came to a large baobab tree. From there, the guide directed the drivers to follow a narrow cattle path. I protested that the jeep will not be able to turn on that path but the guide said vehicles even bigger than my Jeep follow that path to Kwankobilo. After driving for several kilometres on that path, the guide told the drivers to park. He said we should complete the rest of the journey on foot. I was very angry; if I knew that part of the journey was on foot I wouldn’t have put on a flowing gown.
We left our vehicles and ploughed through sandy farmland. We were dodging thorny brushes as we went. We walked across a stony patch, waded through a marshy field, crossed a small stream and then appeared in front of a cave surrounded by thorny cactus plants. We surveyed it carefully before we found the entrance, made of big animal bones.
“Salama alaikum!” Maikaho shouted several times. There was no answer, so Maikaho pushed the gate open and we saw Mai Kunkeli sitting on a large skull of an ox, wearing only a leather wrapper and leaning his back against a thorny acacia tree. Maikaho moved closer and said, “Mai Kunkeli, didn’t you hear me say salama alaikum? Why can’t you open your mouth and answer?” The witch doctor glared at him and said, “Maikaho, are you entering a mosque? When you are entering this house, what you should say is ‘clear!’ so that the spirits will get up and leave. Ifiritu was relaxing there as you people came in. If you had marched on his leg, I can’t separate the two of you.”
We all filed in and looked for a place to sit. Maikaho said, “Mai Kunkeli, can’t you see that Alhaji is a very important visitor? You don’t even have a chair. Where do you want him to sit?” Mai Kunkeli pointed his finger to indicate that we should all sit on the floor. He said, “In this house you have to be careful where you sit. This house is full of visiting spirits. If you sit on their wings, they will throw you off into the air and I cannot be responsible for that.”
I was wondering if I made a mistake by coming here. All over the yard were animal bones, animal skins, gourds, big black stones, black clay pots full of herbs, broken pieces of gourd, even animal intestines hanging from a tree. Maikaho was not intimidated by the atmosphere and he was speaking straight to Mai Kunkeli. I secretly tugged at his gown, telling him not to speak to the witch doctor in harsh terms but Maikaho ignored me. He said, “Mai Kunkeli, I am here to give you another chance to prove yourself. When last we came to you in respect of the local government election, my candidate did not win because you didn’t do your work well. You only gave me lame excuses.”
Mai Kunkeli sat up, a hurt look in his painted face. He said, “it was your candidate’s fault. I told him to drink a he-goat’s last urine for the day, he didn’t. I told him to go and romance a mad woman near the market, he didn’t. I told him to go and sleep in the cemetery for three days, he refused, so, whose fault is that if he didn’t win the election?”
I was already shivering. Is that the kind of thing that this man will ask me to do? Alhaji Gohe intervened at that point to prevent a quarrel between Maikaho and our host. He said, “Maikaho, please forget about what happened in the past. Mai Kunkeli, we are here to seek your help. We want you to help us and see if this project has any chance of success and if not, what we can do to restore it to the path of success.”
Mai Kunkeli pulled out a black leather bag and covered his head with it. The bag had been dipped in fresh animal blood. He shook his head vigorously, shouted some incantations, shook his whole body and then removed the bag, frowning. He said, “There is luck but there are also big obstacles on the way. I told Ifiritu to check your name, and he said he saw you in a big black car, surrounded by policemen. You know there are many different types of black car, and he is not yet sure which one it is that he saw you enter.”
Maikaho had cooled down now. He said, “Mai Kunkeli, it is true some black cars are not good. Please ask Ifiritu to help so that the car he saw Alhaji in is the one with siren and flag and no plate number.” We waited while Mai Kunkeli recited many incantations, then he said, “God is my witness! I don’t do this help because of people’s money. Far from it! If it is money I want, will I stay here in the bush, conversing with spirits day and night? Won’t I go into the city also and enjoy electricity and Coca Cola?”
He continued, “I have seen success, but there are two small things that we must do to ensure that success remains. Alhaji, you should go, buy a big white horse and bury it alive behind your bedroom.” I was shivering and I said, “Mai Kunkeli, I can’t bury a horse alive. Please give me something easier to do.” “Ok,” he said. “Here is a simple one. I am going to mix the urine of a donkey with mucus from a dog’s nose and you drink it three times a day.” I did not know when I vomited.
