The man tends to look out for qualities that complement his kind of person, some of which include, character, home economics, with special attention given to the prospective wife’s ability to cook. But amid all these is that standard question – what choice would most men make between a pretty girl that could be flaunted before friends but, who cannot cook and a lady who is not pretty, but is a very good cook and housewife? Life Extra spoke to some men who gave divergent but interesting views on the issue.
Osiota Bright, a bachelor, said: “I would go for a pretty lady, as long as she has a good character, I don’t mind teaching her how to cook because I am a good cook.” But when asked if he would not mind if the girl is not the kitchen type or one who doesn’t have interest in cooking, he refuted his earlier statement and retorted: “That’s un-acceptable! As a girl, be you pretty or ugly, cooking is your responsibility in Nigerian and African culture as a whole. So you thinking because you are pretty shouldn’t prevent you from performing your responsibilities as a woman. However, I know I would go for a pretty wife because there are pretty ladies who can still cook very well.”
Emecho Ted, who is in his mid-twenties and engaged to be married, had this to say: “I would go for the pretty lady because she can become a ‘pretty’ cook with time. Nothing can be done to an ugly face but there is a remedy for a pretty wife who is not good at cooking.” But what if she does not show any interest in learning how to cook? Ted replied that: “She still has a tendency to learn unlike a good cook who probably is not good looking. I stick with the pretty face.”
Vincent Iselebor, an undergraduate with intent to get married in the future had a different view: “A good cook will be preferable to a cute face because food helps the body with all the necessary food components that would enable the man to be healthy and strong to keep up with the responsibility of taking care of the family and not the fine face. Besides, as she grows older that face will depreciate and spot wrinkles.” But he added: “I know I won’t get married to an ugly woman simply because she knows how to cook. I believe strongly that God created pretty girls with good character and the skill of cooking well, so I would go for a pretty girl who cooks.”
Chukwuka Nwabueze, who has been married for six years said: “Let me be realistic, the first attraction for a man towards a woman is her physical appearance before other characteristics. But what another sees as pretty might not be pretty to me,” he explained. “Personally, if I am asked to choose between a pretty face and a good cook for a wife, I would go for a good cook because I am an African man and expect my wife to be good at her domestic duties such as cooking. A woman with a pretty face, who does not know how to cook, automatically lacks home training, because as Africans, such training is expected to be embedded in a lady by her mother. So, if a lady can’t cook, whether she is pretty or not, it automatically disqualifies her from being a good wife.” Nwabueze added that: “These days we see pretty women who work and assume positions in reputable organisations. This doesn’t mean the woman should forget or neglect her domestic duties. Her pretty face and position in the society is just a plus. Back in the day, if you as a girl can’t cook, you won’t only be mocked by your husband, but would also bring insults and shame to your mum because she has the responsibility of giving you that training. So, if a woman can’t cook, what training would she pass on to her daughter(s)?”
We also spoke to Onome Osogba, who has been married for three years. She said: “The day I got married, one advice my mum gave me was that ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’ I took that advice and implemented it to my marriage and of course it works for me. I know my husband’s favourite meal and cook it for him, especially when I need something from him. I also use that to lighten his mood when he is angry or simply just to make him happy. The idea of a woman satisfied with being unable to cook, especially in our African setting, is something that shouldn’t be said at all.” Osogba added that: “A pretty woman entails a lot of things aside facial looks. Her facial looks shouldn’t serve as an opportunity but as an advantage added to other characteristics that would make her a good wife. Even the Bible states that a wife should be virtuous. She wakes up early to put her house in order, cooks and feeds her household. The beauty of a woman fades away with time, but her good attributes remain.”
