A lawyer’s relationship circle is made up of three (3) segments: (a) male lawyer and female lawyer union. In this kind of relationship conversation is likened to filling court process, averments, counter- affidavits, exchange of legal arguments, and the likes.
The upside to this union is that both parties contribute to the professional growth of each other since both have careers in the same profession. (b) The male lawyer and female non- lawyer union. In this kind of relationship, the male legal practitioner feels better enlightened and exposed than the female non-lawyer and thereby feels obligated to set a pathway for both to follow.
Then there is (c). The male non-lawyer and female lawyer union. It is my understanding that in this kind of relationship, the lettered or illiterate men that go into this kind of relationship seek to benefit from the training and enlightenment of the female lawyer, which is lacking in the lettered or illiterate female counterparts. Which ever lane you find yourself, date a lawyer for it is legal.
No offence, but five (5) years undergraduate course at the university, one (1) year Nigerian Law School, and one (1) year National Youth Service Corps, can do a lot to the mindset of an individual – making critical thinkers out of every legal professional. Many non-lawyers complain that legal professionals are most often full of themselves; feel they know it all, over confident in self, and difficult to convince; it is like every fact told to a lawyer is placed on an evidence meter, and judgment passed. These subconscious acts of a legal practitioner place a strain on the smooth sail of relationships.
At the beginning of any relationship, the understanding level may differ due to difference in mindset or orientation, causing friction and miscommunication along the way, but with communication and understanding the bumpy journey begins to get smoother by the day. The mindset of a lawyer is trained to be analytical of facts placed before him. We tend to seek out the logic and reason from every happenstance and this sometimes places an unnecessary burden on the other party that is not a lawyer.
This has led to some legal professionals finding succour in relationship with fellow learned minds to avoid the friction and strain that comes with difference of mind sets. At least with a fellow lawyer no matter the difference in year of call, both parties thinking and mind sets are likely to be in the same direction. For the non-lawyers, it is not so difficult to be with a lawyer. True the beginning might be tough but with compatibility which goes beyond careers, the relationship can be a smooth sail. There are countless successful marriages between lawyers and non-lawyers. If dating a lawyer was that bad or illegal, the legal profession would not record such success rate in marriages worldwide.
To my mind, the basis of any relationship is communication and understanding, be it relationship with a lawyer or non-lawyer. Even with the brightest of minds together without communication and understanding that relationship is sure to fail. Whoever is on board, try to have an open communication with each other, it is communication that breeds understanding, meaning there can hardly be understanding without communication. Trying to understand an individual’s behavioural pattern without communication leads to assumption of facts, which in itself hampers relationship growth.
Communication is another learning process on its own. Some partners are good communicators, others are not, and this goes beyond career calling. You can be in a relationship with a lawyer who finds it difficult to communicate, in the same vein, you might be in a relationship with a lettered individual who has no problem in expressing themselves, so it’s a rocky boat for everyone be it a lawyer or non-lawyer.
At this point, it is important to mention that despite any individual’s calling or profession, compatibility would determine if the parties would stay for the long ride or not.
In sum, date a lawyer, it might not be a guarantee for a stable working relationship but at least, it is legal!
Godspeed!
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