Support yourself in supporting others

But there are times when we feel all alone, isolated as if we are trudging along a downtrodden path, unsure in what direction e are headed and no one believes or has faith in us or shares in our ideals or views. Times when we truly feel less supported.  

Usually it is in times like this that we are most sensitive. We notice things that we ordinarily would not have take note of; we see the loop holes and for some people the blame goes to others.

For some others like Dan Godwin, “often it’s precisely during these periods when we don’t feel as supported ourselves that we’re most sensitive to, and aware of, what’s missing, and we’re able to provide this for others. Somehow our compassion and empathy is heightened and we give more spontaneously and willingly the type of support we crave ourselves.”

The question is how do you we get through such periods? Do you sit helpless and wallowing in the misery or do you try to look out ways to get out of the depressing state you are in? If you make an effort to get out of it, where exactly do you look for and find upliftment and the spark to spur you on?

A sure way of receiving support is through supporting and helping others. Helping others, it is said brings good feelings to the giver and the receiver of the good deeds. While adding meaning to the other lives, you too are also enriched.

According to research, “Using your special gifts to help others can be a gift to yourself as you enjoy a self esteem boost for making others’ lives better, and make the world a better place. You feel more worthy of good deeds yourself, your trust in the decency of people is reinforced, and you feel more connected to yourself and to others.”

It was also shown that those who demonstrate more altruistic social interest tend to enjoy higher levels of mental health, above and beyond the practical benefits of receiving help and other known psychospiritual, stress, and demographic factors that you would expect.

It is impossible to have a balanced life that is void of service to others, as this singular gesture can help you feel less stress as well, as you feel more connected to your spirit, more grateful for what you have, and less invested in the ‘rat race’ that causes stress for so many of us.

A lot of it also has to with or is based on how creative a person’s mind is. Dan Godwin says, “As one with a creative mind, the kind of unconditional love and support provided by family and friends is incredibly valuable. Yet there’s a difference between this, and support from someone else creative who truly empathises, through having felt similar doubts, anxieties and struggles.

Anyone who’s creative is in their own way on a kind of heroic journey to finding ways of expressing themselves that are unique and valuable to them, discovering the things and people in their lives that are truly important, and the ways their creative work can touch others and make a difference.

With an urge to create between you and the next person, some kind of inner connection between you two even in the early stages of a relationship is provoked.

Everybody has successes just as we have doubts and failings, moments of inspiration and exuberance, days of apparent isolation, and desertion of thoughts and ideas. Just being in touch with others of like minds and understanding that they share your in your situation or may even be going through the same, has a force, connection and benefit that is almost indescribable.  

A major point with reaching out and supporting others is that in the process it provides healing and answers to our worries. In many ways, being supportive to another is a partly selfish act. By helping other people improve their lives for the good, we also feel good. It’s a simple equation.

Begin from now to consider how supportive you are to others and in what ways you receive support, as well as what is most valuable to you. Think about how you can increase your level of help for others even if you feel satisfied with how much you are doing currently. You could even go a step further by forming your support group and focusing on a particular area in which you will be most effective.   Make a list of things you could do to offer support to someone else. Then pick at least 3 and put them into action.

If for anything always remember that, rendering help feels good and makes you feel good too.