When some youth were protesting against insecurity and alleged police brutality in the country, a group in Sokoto State took to the streets to protest against unnecessary marital expenses.
The youth were demanding outright cancellation of kayan nagani inaso, which is fondly called “I see I love,” in the state.
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It means, items presented to the family of a lady one pick interest in and wanted to marry.
The items include cartons of variety of sweets, noodles, crates of soft drinks, cartons of biscuits, cola nuts and monetary gifts.
These items are usually brought to the girl’s house in a long motorcade involving the groom’s family members and friends.
According to Malam Mustapha Muhammad, one is required to present at least between 10 and 20 crates of soft drinks, depending on his capacity and the family background of the lady.
“Other items would be in the same quantity with no less than N10,000 as a monetary gift to the girl.
“Some will bring things that would be enough for one to start provision store business.
“And the girl’s family are expected to reciprocate by preparing delicious food and drinks for the people bringing the items.
“Just last week, my elder sister was telling me that she spent over N100,000 on food for the people that brought ‘I see, I love’ of her daughter,” he said.
Muhammad, however, lamented that some of the marital problems were traced to this tradition.
“It generates high expectations among the two families. When the family of the girl prepares something that is not commensurate to the items brought to them, the family of the groom to be will not be happy with them and vice versa.
“This usually leads to chaos before and after the wedding and might eventually cause separation,” he said.
Speaking to Caliphate Trust, Malama Sa’adatu Haruna Illo, opined that there was nothing wrong with ‘I see, I love’ because it was an expression of love and appreciation by lovers.
“I don’t support its cancellation. There is nothing harmful about it. It is just a means of showing appreciation to the lady for accepting you as her suitor,” she said.
She maintained that the practice is not against our religion or tradition, in fact, “God orders us to always reciprocate good deeds with good”.
She, however, said that a lot of people misunderstood the concept as it did not require spending much.
“A sweet of N50 can suffice. You don’t need to bring cartons as long as there is love,” she added.
A renowned Islamic scholar in the state, Sheikh Isa Talatan Mafara, also said the tradition was not contrary to the Islamic tenets.
“In marriage, there are things that are purely traditional, which we cannot dispute because it is not against Islam.
“People need to understand the difference. I see, I love is part of our tradition here but dowry and solemnisation of marriage is religious because one cannot get married without paying dowry,” he said.
According to Talatan Mafara, the problems lie with the choice of suitors as some people prefer to marry a girl that is from a wealthy family despite the fact that they do not have what it takes to take care of her.
“And a lady from the poor background will always want to get something akin to what was brought to the daughter of a wealthy man,” he said.
He, however, advised against cancelling of the tradition, as according to him, people value what they suffered to get.
“If marriages are made very simple, people may not value it because they know they can divorce their wife and get another one easily,” he added.
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