Abdullah ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family, and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children, and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master, and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.” Source: Sahīh al-Bukhārī 7138, Sahīh Muslim 1829
It’s the little things that add up to create an environment where crime and abuse become a monumental menace to the society. These factors that we perceive as cultural, and take for granted, complicated by poverty are the ones that ultimately bring us down.
On this day, a young boy was brought in by his parents and older siblings. They all looked very uncomfortable when asked what the problem was. When the doctor heard the father’s story she came in search of someone more senior. Unfortunately, my office was closest to her. In her words ‘Chief, I cannot bear this alone’.
The thirteen-year-old, sweet, pre-pubescent boy was, quite frankly, becoming a menace to the neighbourhood. His older brother had caught him sodomising his younger brother. Shocked, he had reprimanded him but later realised that the boy was engaging in sexual activities with other boys in the neighbourhood. Realising that he could not handle this alone, he reported the boy to their father.
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The whole story was told in bits and pieces from both the father and the patient. The boy had been sexually abused by older boys in his Islamiyya for the past three years. Apparently, he was not the only one and so after the older kids graduated, the boy and his friends continued the habit among themselves. Typically of all vices, the boy began to seek out other friends in school and later his neighbourhood to teach his secret habit. He was finally caught, when his younger brother complained to his mother about what the young boy was making him do.
This was not my first case of sexual abuse in boys. However, it was my most heartbreaking because of the factors involved. As a physician researcher, one does not just treat problems, but rather finds out the risk factor that lead to the problem in the first place.
Sociocultural determinants play a significant role in influencing crime rates and patterns within a society. These determinants encompass various social and cultural factors that contribute to the likelihood of unlawful, criminal, and immoral behaviour.
Factor number one: Divorce. The woman who accompanied his father was his stepmother. The father’s first wife was the mother of his first four children. The boy concerned was the fourth child. When the couple divorced, the man married a younger woman who was the same age as his first son. The younger woman now had three children of her own including one who was currently breastfeeding. How the society expects a twenty-three-year-old woman to take care of seven children on her own is beyond me. How can a woman, who is a young woman herself, look after boys (who are not hers) that are 23, 21, 18 and 13 of age? In addition to her own four-year-old, two-year-old and ten-month-old infant?
It’s important to clarify that divorce itself does not directly contribute to sexual abuse or criminal behaviour. Sexual abuse is a serious and harmful behavior that can occur within any type of relationship or family structure, and it is not caused by divorce. However, changes in family dynamics and stressors related to divorce can potentially create conditions that increase the risk of various negative behaviours, including abuse. Disrupted family structures can create situations where children may feel vulnerable or isolated, which could potentially make them more susceptible to various forms of abuse, including sexual abuse.
Factor number two: Absentee Father. The father claimed to be a businessman who supplied fabrics to the southwestern and eastern parts of the country. Sometimes he was away for business for up to five months at a time. He would return to Kura, Kano and spend two weeks with his family only to travel back again. Time and again, I see our Northern Nigerian men fall into this category. All the Arewa men who are shoe-shiners, local manicurists, barbers, fruit sellers, security guards, porters and forex traders in the south, have families in rural northern Nigeria that they have not visited in ages.
Having a biological father who maintains a close relationship with his son, whether or not he lived in the family home, might be crucial in preventing susceptible boys from becoming criminals, research conducted by clinical psychologist Jenny Taylor in the conference held by the British Psychological Society’s division of forensic psychology in Birmingham. Drawing on data from socially deprived areas of south London, she compared a group of “good boys”, who had no criminal convictions and had caused teachers no trouble, with a group of “bad boys” at a secure unit for unmanageable adolescents, many of them persistent offenders convicted of sexual assault, theft and stealing vehicles. All 68 boys, aged between 12 and 16, were from working class backgrounds, had lower than average intellectual ability, had similar problems with their peers and with hyperactivity, had equally large families, and in both groups 40% suffered from dyslexia.
But there was one “very striking” difference between the two groups: 55% of the “good boys” lived with their biological fathers, compared with only 4% of the “bad boys”. Almost 80% of the “good boys” spoke of being close to their biological fathers. Among these were 24% of the group who said they had a biological father living away from home who was an influence in their lives. Only 18% said there was no one they regarded as a father figure, while 3% said they had a stepfather. Among the “bad boys”, 45% said they had no one they considered a father figure, 30% said they had a stepfather, 22% a biological father not living at home and only 4% a father living at home.
One thing struck me while the boy was telling his story which made me interrupt and ask the question: The first time you were molested, years ago, why did you not say anything?
The boy looked at me with downcast eyes and said quietly: “Tell who?”
Divorced parents. Absent father. Mother sent back to her parents in a faraway village. Stepmother overwhelmed with cooking and cleaning of children. Children left to their own devices.
In Hausa culture we call these children ‘yayan tsakar gida’. Children whose mothers are not in the largely polygamous household. In the traditional Hausa setting, in the evening, each child will go to their mother’s room to sleep and so whose mothers have been divorced
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