Should a parent’s influence affect a child’s future?

Research – and common sense – has shown that parents matter a lot in the lives of their children, especially in their adolescent years, when they decide what to do with the rest of their lives. Sally Hick, in an article titled “Parents influence children’s success’’ posted online quoted Nancy E. Hill, associate professor of social psychology at Duke. ‘’For many families, parents are needed to make a bigger difference in their children’s success in school because their children may be growing up in circumstances that undermine academic success’’.
Life Xtra sought to know what people had to say on this issue which has become quite controversial in many quarters.
Nonye Pius, a banker in her early 30s, opines that in a country like Nigeria, it’s all about who you know and so a family name and wealth matter. “So you’ll be lucky if you meet someone who knows your family and the person can help with what you want especially if you are from a family that is very influential’’.
Recalling when she was job-hunting, she said “I remember when I was searching for a job but my major obstacle was not knowing anyone who could serve as a mediator between the company I was applying to and I. I felt so disappointed that with my result, I couldn’t get any job because I believed that I had something to offer but it was looked down on, until a friend’s father helped me. This taught me a great lesson that in our society you need to have a strong backing because with it, you can get anywhere and get what you want.”
But Steven Odiri had a contrasting view. He doesn’t believe in who or what one’s parents have become to influence what they have become in life. He said ‘’What your parents have today is as a result of their hard work. They struggled for it, so why not struggle for yours if you want to be self-made? That way, you get more respect and regard for yourself because only self-made people are respected, because you actually went through a struggle, hustling to become what you are.”
Telling the story of a friend from his university days, Odiri said: ‘’My friend’s father was the dean of the department, even before I knew. It was when we were in second year when another addressed him as the dean’s son. My friend was so serious with his studies; he read like there was no tomorrow, never missing class and ensuring he did every assignment and test. He confided in me that the reason why he did that was because he didn’t want a situation where his father would talk to a lecturer to pass him because it would be very demeaning. So he’d rather study hard.”
For Chinenye Okolie, a caterer, a strong family name is an added advantage for anybody. She asked a rhetoric question ‘’Do you think all these top politicians’ children have any difficulty gaining access to whatever they want? As a matter of fact, I believe that before they are done with their education, they already have jobs waiting for them. They live like royalty where they get what they want with everyone at their beck and call. So for me, I think a parent’s name has strong influence on the child. It opens doors that other people don’t have easy access to.”
Giving a brief but direct response, Emmanuel Omamuyowhi told Life Xtra: ‘’Whether we agree or not, a strong family name influences the child. Your family name speaks, sometimes you may not even need to introduce yourself before you get the attention you want. But In my own opinion, it shouldn’t be that way but that’s how it is.”
In another online article ‘’How much do parents influence their children’s future’’ by Gunnel Minett, it states: ‘’The fact that parents influence their children’s development is nothing new. It is clearly the case that we are formed during our childhood by the way our parents brought us up.”
The article added ‘’The main factors that influence our physical and psychological profile are divided into nature and nurture. For some time now science has favoured nature over nurture, arguing that genes determine almost everything about us, down to behavioural patterns such as alcoholism, eating disorders, kleptomania etc. But recent brain research has begun to show a different picture, swinging over from nature to nurture. That is to say that there is now a growing understanding of how much the childhood environment influences us as adults, both physically and psychologically.”
But then children also inherit their parents’ genes, which greatly determine what kind of persons they become. Does it stop there? Can parents influence their children beyond making sure that they get the right education and the appropriate social skills necessary to find their place in society? Only time can tell.