Just ‘yesterday’, you spent the last day at your former office as an employee or business executive/owner. You had a send-off party that was touching, and everyone had a nice time. You went back home in tow with family and close friends. It was all so busy and pleasant, and the focus on the activities of the previous days and weeks had ‘numbed’ your mind to the bigger details and some emotions about other realities of your retirement. That was OK for the events, times, and places. But today you woke up in the morning with nowhere to go and, depending on you and your situation, chances are that all the thoughts will come rushing along with some level of uncertainty and fear. I advise a few things.
Always feign confidence: Indian Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw, nicknamed ‘Sam the Brave’, told the story of his encounter, as a then young officer in 1942 in Burma during WWII, with a soldier under his command. There was a field promotion conference and Manekshaw didn’t recommend the promotion of the tough 6 feet 4 soldier for reasons Manekshaw stated. After the promotions list was published and unbeknownst to Manekshaw, the soldier threatened to shoot him (Manekshaw) and was promptly locked up in a guardroom by a senior NCO.
When the NCO informed Manekshaw of what had happened, Manekshaw had the soldier marched to him. As a light machine gunner, the soldier had a side pistol which was taken away when he was arrested and detained. Manekshaw loaded the pistol and handed it back to the soldier, asking ‘Ok, go ahead and shoot me’. The soldier apologized and the case was dismissed by Manekshaw with the soldier returned to his duty. But the NCO remained agitated, adamant, and insistent that the soldier would find the right time to shoot Manekshaw. On that, Manekshaw ordered that the soldier, of course with his rifle, should guard his (Manekshaw’s) batcher that night. He told the soldier of his requirement for tea and hot water to shave the following morning at 5 am. Everything went on without any untoward incident and the soldier continued to follow Manekshaw all through the war ‘like sheep’. In narrating the story, Manekshaw said, “It is one thing to be frightened and quite another to show fear. It is when your knees are knocking and your teeth are chattering …. That is when the real leader in you comes out.”
You just retired and are hopefully not in Manekshaw’s ‘life and death’ situation. However, you need to provide leadership to yourself and reaasure those closet to you that are either looking up to you or simply concerned. Self-leadership requires confidence in any situation we may find ourselves. This does not necessarily mean we have solutions to all issues that we may have on hand. Rather, it means we have confidence in and trust ourselves to address the issues. We may be able to solve the problems on our own or may need the support of others. Self-confidence and trust in yourself are important in all stages of life and definitely in retirement.
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Take a rest: I strongly encourage people who retire to take some rest before delving into whatever next thing they want to do. How much time they take off, where they spend the time, and what they do depends on individual realities and interests.
A lady in a group of successful individuals that I trained on retirement got excited when I encouraged them to seriously consider taking some time off. She told me that she thought of doing exactly that but was unsure and therefore undecided. She said she has three grown-up children that are doing well on three continents and wants to spend some time with each of them. I encouraged her to go ahead on five conditions:
1.The cost of going on the vacation should not negatively impact her immediate and long-term finances
2.She should not put on the children a financial burden that would hurt their own realities
3.She should maintain healthy eating habits and take regular physical exercises as may be appropriate for her during the rest period
4.Not to bother herself thinking about what she will be doing after the rest period (because that should have since been addressed!)
5.Read a few books of interest and growth
In addition to the above, you may also need to tie up loose ends on certain matters such as any issues with your former employer or PFA. Similarly, if you will be leaving some family members back home, it is necessary that you sort out all their matters such as allowances, domestic upkeep, etc. in advance. I mean, the vacation will only be truly restful if you don’t have to address little issues on a daily basis from far away. But you could also take your rest without travelling. In this case, however, you will need to fashion out how to free yourself of as many local distractions and stress factors as possible.
On the conditions aforementioned, making the call to go on this vacation should not be tough. After all, you have spent some fifteen to twenty years going to school in your earlier years; You have been on a career or business for some thirty-five years. Through the years, you have worked consistently and continuously hard, taking only annual vacations as your employer or the realities of your business might have permitted or not! You have done so much and your body and mind have taken a toll, and at about sixty, you don’t see many motor vehicles as old as you are! Take some deserved rest to detox and recharge you for the years ahead!
Next week we will begin to take up options of the kind of things you could do in retirement.
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