Ingrates and spoilsports. Of course, you know whom I’m talking about. And just in case you don’t, I’ll cut through the crap and tell you straight – the House of Reps members trying to divert our attention from things that matter with the N5 billion presidential yacht. Surely this is not how it was meant to work. These guys have just taken delivery of their individual N160 million Toyota Prado I-rub-your-back-you-rub-mine vehicles. That’s supposed to induce loyalty, not rebellion.
However, rather than being loyal to the president, these people are trying very hard to malign and impugn the integrity of our dear president, Bola Ahmed Adekunle Tinubu’s yacht.
Of course, we all know that our dear president doesn’t need a yacht. He is beyond and above that age when people hold wild onshore parties. If the president needs a yacht, with his access to bullion vans; he could afford one. The other day, his loving wife made a declaration shortly after confessing to borrowing N2 million from Shettima’s wife they are not poor. You people should know that it’s not all wealthy people who make it to the Forbes list.
Besides, any ranking House member would know that if there is a presidential yacht, it would not only be servicing the exuberance of His Excellency, the First Son, it could be loaned to the leadership of either arm of democracy, especially the two leaders of the legislature. Judges pretend that they do not like the best things of life, except of course, crispy currencies if delivered away from prying eyes. Until lately, you’ll never see judges in a night party, but thank God, things are changing for the better.
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We should stop pretending that the First Son is not a member of the executive arm or that he was not elected and therefore has no right to presidential opulence or privilege. From all we know, the First Son goes wherever the father goes. In religious parlance, he and the father are one. The callous campaign of jealousy of the First Son should stop immediately. He would not be the one to enjoy the executive privilege of his father. Sani Abacha’s son crashed a presidential jet along with his friends. Muhammadu Buhari’s daughter flew to a durbar arranged in her honour in a presidential jet and if Buhari’s son had not crashed his motorbike and broken his neck, Allah knows the extent of his exercise of presidential privileges.
Bored of flying his father’s private jet, our reigning first son ordered a pilot on the presidential fleet to fly him to Kano for the official job of witnessing a polo tournament. Some journalists whose parents have no bicycle spoke have taken their jealousy to the villa. They reported that the First Son dashes in and out of the Executive Chambers during FEC meetings prompting the president to issue a decree against his son’s attendance of these meetings.
This jealousy of the State House press corps is meant to create the impression that there is a tussle for power in the impenetrable Tinubu dynasty. Nothing could be further from the truth. The dynasty is one. We have a First Lady, a first daughter and the Iyaloja General of West Africa and we have a first son supporting the president in the herculean task of running the affairs of state.
Pastor Femi Adesina exorcised the djinns that Reuben Abati spoke of inside Aso Rock shortly after Hajiya Aisha Buhari raised an eviction army against the insolent children of her husband’s nephew and to scare Tunde Sabiu to submission. The Tinubus are a different breed, never been known to quarrel in public. The àgbàdo presidency makes no pretence that they are one and that President Tinubu is the commander-in-chief of his household.
This jealousy has extended to our gentle First Lady, the Distinguished Senator Mama Remi Tinubu. People who are doomed to poverty are haranguing the presidency for a paltry sum of N1.5 billion for the purchase of official vehicles. Do they expect the First Wife to be trekking around in Abuja? Some say that the office of the First Lady does not exist in the Nigerian constitution. Must everything exist in the constitution? They forget that if she had retained her senatorial seat, she would have been entitled to extra security for her own privacy and for her commitment to eradicating poverty. You don’t fight poverty in ramshackle trucks. Let the First Lady breathe guys.
President Tinubu should be congratulated for not pretending like somebody we know, that his wife has no role in his government. Even the Americans say it best – happy wife, happy life. While the president believes that poverty is not something to be ashamed of, it is not a garland he wishes to hang on the necks of his household. As one prophet was quoted as saying – we will always have the poor among us, so nobody should be playing the devil’s advocate with presidential budgets. If it hasn’t happened already, I expect Tradermoni to be replaced with #Ìyàlọjàmoni in the name of continuity. Then we should have something like #SeyiFeeder for the school-feeding project. As a nation, we should stop pretending and gazette these things in our hearts so that we can have peace.
Back to the presidential yacht that is fast becoming the folkloric encounter of blind men with the elephant, there are three sides to the story. Legislators say it was coded as Presidential Yacht. Our new Lai in government, Bayo Onanuga, says it was not meant for the president but the navy when it somehow appeared under the presidency’s projected expenditure profile. Ali Ndume, a ranking senator, revealed that the vessel has already been procured, perhaps awaiting commissioning in the national tradition. The navy confirms that to be true and that they are now in hot soup because the payment is due.
Ndume’s explanation is the best explanation as to why senior legislators want rookies out of leadership positions. They need to learn the ropes and decode signals. Before rushing to the media with classified documents, legislators must first clear with their officers who should in turn speak to the presidency’s Goebbels to adopt a uniform stance when nosey reporters start turning normal padding into salacious news. The ruling party must avoid presidential embarrassments.