Most people only know they want to get married. They have a vague idea what sort of marriage they will like to have but they have no clue how to go about it.
Before I got married, I decided I wanted a Christian and a purposeful marriage; a happy marriage and a permanent one. I was fully convinced that God had someone in mind for me and that one day I was going to find her. I knew that it was not enough to marry a believer; she had to be God’s choice for me.
I decided that the only way to achieve that was to fully trust on the Lord first to be the right person and secondly to find the right person. I also decided that I was ready to wait for as long as it might take to work that out. I was fully convinced God was interested in my marriage and that He was going to help me. I also knew that to find the right person, I needed to be the right person and that was going to take a lot of preparation.
One of the most important keys in success in anything is preparation. Job 11:13-19 shows the importance of preparing one’s heart in order to succeed in life. God sent John the Baptist to prepare the way of the Lord.
The Lord talked about preparing to build the house (in this case a home).
Preparation…
• Gives you confidence,
• Helps you to make decisions
• Protects you against failure; it reduces or minimizes the chances of failure.
• It makes it easier to deal with challenges that will certainly come.
• Gives you a sound foundation etc.
• Saves you time and other vital resources. Most singles believe they are waiting on the Lord. The truth is that God is waiting on you to be prepared or ready.
What preparations do you need to make?
There are many things to do in preparing for success in marriage but I will mention the following:
1. Develop a sound prayer life. If you can’t pray well now, you will not be able to pray well when you are married because you will discover that problems don’t just go away because you are now married. Your wedding may solve the problem of your being single but it does not solve all problems. You will need to pray. It is true that one shall put to flight a thousand and two ten thousand. But what is even more true is that they are confronted with the ten thousand first. Develop the habit of fasting. Fasting helps you to discipline your flesh and makes you sharper spiritually. Believers who fast enjoy better results than those who don’t.
2. Develop a sound study life. Build a rich Word base. Isaac learned how to meditate; he prospered exceedingly. The Bible says in Genesis 24:63, “And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.” People who meditate see what others don’t see. They receive revelation. God has already given you a life-partner. Your prayer life will open your eyes to discover him or her.
3. Develop your faith walk. Learn to trust God for your provisions. Some women are doing nothing but jus waiting for a man who will marry them and provide for them. The same thing can be said of certain men. If you have not been able to believe God for one mouth, how are you going to believe Him for two or more?
4. Develop a sound Christian character. Christian virtues of love, kindness, forgiveness, patience, endurance, hope, humility etc are necessary for success in marriage. Learn to accommodate others even when their views conflict with yours. Temper problems should be addressed and thoroughly dealt with. Deliverance ministration should be sought for demonic problems if they are not to prevent you from getting married or destroying your marriage.
5. Develop being guided by the Holy Spirit. Learn divine guidance. Learn to be guided by the Holy Spirit in your daily choices and decisions—in business, ministry, spending and then choosing your life partner. If the Lord is your Shepherd, you will not lack.
6. Develop yourself mentally. How much do you know about marriage and related issues from the perspective of God? How many good books have you read? Read books on marriage—preparing for marriage, communication in marriage, etc (read my books on Marriage and family, Prospering through investment etc and the books by other good authors). Read books on faith, personal development etc.
7. Develop yourself physically. Most people only pay attention to looking good on the inside. Some Christians only pay attention to spiritual development. Both are necessary. You must do your best to look attractive but not outrageous. Don’t dress in a way that will make you look cheap. The bible advises moderation. Dresses that are too revealing give an impression of someone that can only be used as a sex thing. Men are first and foremost attracted by your beauty before they find out if you have a brain. Esther spent one full year preparing for one night with the king.
8. Develop yourself financially and materially. Learn all you can about biblical finance. Learn to pay your tithe and give generously. Make giving a habit. Sow seeds toward your future. Have a saving scheme. Invest as a principle. Start preparing for your home; buy those things you can afford now. Your preparation is even an act of faith. David prepared for building the temple.
9. Develop yourself socially. Clean up. Break connections and relationships that are ungodly. Learn Christian manners and conducts.
10. Develop your ministry. Get busy serving the Lord with your gift in the house of the Lord. You can’t fit in after your marriage if you don’t fit in before your marriage. It is more difficult. Remember also that God blesses those who are useful in the kingdom-those who are useful to Him.
11. Undergo deliverance ministration. Get rid of demonic bondage. Get rid of ancestral curses and other demonic hindrances to marriage. Break all evil covenants and divorce spirit spouses.
12. Develop a heart of forgiveness. This is one of the key ingredients of success in marriage. Decide to forgive your spouse before he or she asks for it. Train to make excuses for your spouse each time you are offended.
Don’t just rush into marriage; take time to prepare if you want to succeed. Have a blessed week.
Bishop Dr Charles Olowojoba is the General Overseer of Dayspring Bible Church Worldwide with HQ in Abuja, Nigeria & President, Dayspring Christian Ministries Int’l.
