Let’s be honest, if you have lived on this planet for as long as I have, you will realise that it is becoming predictable. Predictability is not bad, the problem is that when some things are too predictable, they become boring. It is classic reasoning that when things get boring, it is time to either reset them or seek new adventures. This is why people don’t wait for things to break before fixing it.
From typewriters to computers, propeller planes to supersonic jets, from Morse code and Morse wireless to the internet of things and things of the internet. Only foolish or poor people stick to the old and arcane. Who wants to pedal a bicycle up a steep hill when inventors have brought in electric and even electronic bikes that move faster and exert less strain on weakened knees? The people who still do that are abbs-crazy youths and they are found in one of the most boring places on earth – the gymnasium.
So, I get it that America is not satisfied with having Donald Trump, back in the White House. The only problem I have with that is that even though he is a wee shy of 80, Donald Trump is trying to make both Muhammadu Buhari and Bola Ahmed Tinubu look like dinosaurs. Not that such a label is far from the truth, but honestly, Trump’s dynamism about his next government enervates me in more ways than one.
America’s INEC had barely finished counting the votes when Trump hit the ground running. I mean, in Nigeria, we are used to having our presidents take a sabbatical after a tedious campaign in which they are prevented from saying anything they could be quoted on that it’ll be shocking, if not shameful that they start naming nominees before they are sworn in. Muhammadu Buhari went on vacation for six months while Nigeria waited for his appointees and Tinubu almost beat his record. Buhari only made the presidency after four tearful attempts and those close to Tinubu say he had spent nearly 40 years climbing the political ladder before it was his turn.
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The enemies of the ruining party claim that the cabinet that both men announced were anything but satisfying. That is their opinion, because Buhari returned and returned his cabinet members into their soporific positions while Tinubu has actively sacked a few and injected a few lackeys closer to the rock of power.
Now back to Donald Trump, he has been firing from all cylinders and as anyone that ever drove a car with a bad engine knows, they do misfire. This has been the mixed opinion of global watchers as Trump wasted no time in congratulating himself and showing the word how its new leader promises to reset the brain of the world. With 60 days left for him to take over the White House from the man he prefers to call Sleepy Joe, Trump has shown what to expect from his second coming. One of the first is that he intends to change the world. There are those who say that from at least three of his nominees, women would have to return to that era when they believed that feminism ruled the world.
While sexual assault remains one of the few crimes in the world with no statute of limitation, women who accuse men are no longer guaranteed the level of outrage that sent many powerful men to prison on allegations that time has worn off. Trump has set the tone for that to happen by taking control of the departments that tend to take sides with accusers over the accused.
Defence secretary nominee Pete Hegseth a former TV host – (shame on those who claim that Trump hates the media) and Matt Gaetz, Trump’s pick for Attorney-General both have sexual misconduct allegations against them. Gaetz resigned from the House of Representatives at a time enemies of the new world order were getting ready to allegedly release salacious reports of an investigation linking him with allegations of sexual trafficking and molestation.
Hegseth was arrested in 2017 for alleged sexual assault and a flurry of other crimes and was later released without charge. Both men have denied the accusations and are presumed as innocent as Judas was when he succumbed to divine predilection under global laws. Until their loyalty is tested, these nominees would remain saints, just like their boss Donald Trump on whose stolid back allegations of misconduct drops like water on an upturned calabash. Trump has accusations from at least 18 angry women and is presumed innocent.
Until he was brought down by the disease, Trump described Covid-19 as a hoax. Even after receiving the best treatment available to any human on earth at its peak, Trump continued to call the disease aggravated flu.
Now America has a disciple in Trump’s nomination for health secretary in Robert A Kennedy. Kennedy was reputed to have once confessed that half his own brain was eaten up by a worm that later died. Kennedy believes that fluoridated water causes autism and that vaccines have no health benefits. His nomination led to an unprecedented drop in the shares of global pharmaceutical companies. Here is one nomination that would please the Taliban and their global allies. These people have harmed and sometimes killed vaccination officials for allegedly injecting children with family planning doses instead of vaccines. To them, the return of polio fits into their religious obligation to drop a few pennies into the hands of deformed panhandlers.
Tulsi Gabbard, the only Trump pick that confirms the sagacity of our own President Tinubu in picking Daniel Bwala, a former opposition spokesman as a presidential aide used to be a card-carrying Democrat who decamped into the Trump side and rigorously campaigned for him. Her nomination as director of national intelligence might satisfy the Iranians and Syrians. A former soldier-turned pacifist, Tulsi once opined that Bashar al-Assad was not America’s enemy. She craves a world without wars.
Trump might be wary of the clinginess of the world’s richest man, Elon Musk; he has picked him as head of the less-known Department of Government Efficiency. The appointment has not removed Musk from Mar-a-Lago resort where he is now called an adopted son. Many fear a conflict of interest here because Elon’s many business affairs make him a government contractor. He reportedly pumped $200 million into the Trump campaign, giving out $10 million to 10 lucky dip winners on the last days leading to the election, a move that some democrats described as election-meddling.
As the world could barely wait for January’s historic inauguration, it is about to witness a brain reset – one in which researchers face paucity of funds to back needed investigations; the poor are unable to pay for treatments and assaulted women are forced into embracing their molesters.
America might witness a new era of greatness in which slavery is banned but racism is encouraged; one in which bullying becomes a globally accepted norm. A world in which democracy ceases to be the only best thing since sliced bread and the virtues of dictatorship are endorsed from the White House. Now that sounds Trump-cool.