Perseverance in marriage

It is a popularly held belief that marriage is not a bed of roses: it comes with its challenges. Therefore, a couple must find means to move on and make it work.

Women are said to be the “weaker sex” in marriage but no one looks at the pressure they have to endure in trying to make their marriages work. A bride who is just a year and five months in marriage requires help. She explains that her husband disrespects her in from of his family and hers and that he also doesn’t carry out his responsibility as a husband. She is depressed and regrets getting married.

Ene Agu (38) a teacher: says, “Life is too short for any woman to be depressed all because of a man that doesn’t treasure his partner. She knows where it pinches her most and she is the only one to decide if she wants to remain with the man or not. I will advise her to think about it deeply before taking any decision. The ball is in her court.”

Abiola Ademola (40) a pharmacist, says, “I will advise that she continues to have patience as most men are like that. With patience and perseverance, he will come to realise his mistake and treat her better. Since he doesn’t physically abuse her, the relationship is one that can still be redeemed. It is good that she continues to have faith in the relationship as one day, he will be interested in being responsible.”

40 year-old Mairo Suleiman, a colleague of Abiola, however, disagrees with her. She says, “The mental or emotional abuse a woman is made to go through is worse than physical abuse. A woman or any human being can deal with the physical abuse but the emotional abuse is more traumatic. The woman who goes through emotional or mental torture is dying gradually, and if care is not taken, it could reach a climax and the unexpected will happen. For her to open up, she must have bottled up a lot of things in her young marriage. Depression is for real and it starts from issues like these and if not addressed will lead to something else.”

Hadiza Habeeb (40) an accountant, says, “Most people will say “patience”, but let me just say that patience is not enough. Most of what the young bride has said happens in most homes, and some even worse, but the relationship still survives. I am speaking out of experience. When a responsible man is not able to provide for the family financially, it affects them a lot. So she should please take it easy and be patient. With patience and prayers she will surely overcome and give testimony. Marriage was never meant to be a bed of roses; it is where a woman is put to the real test of patience and perseverance.”