Peace Anyiam-Osigwe: Growing up in the midst of boys made me strong

Weekend Magazine: You grew up the only girl in a family of many boys. What did it feel like?
Peace Anyiam-Osigwe: I would not have wanted it any other way. My mum is very feminine. When I turned eight, she decided it was time for me to go to boarding school. She sent me to an all-girls school in London so that I could learn to be a lady. I was a tomboy and still think I am. I have only brothers, and that makes one independent. I have a father who made me believe there is no difference between a male or female child.
My dad built a house for me in the village and people queried that if I got married, does it mean I will come back to the village? But he felt I should not look for where to sleep whenever I visit. He made me believe in myself and I think it is one of the best things I had growing up, not being told I couldn’t do something because I am a girl.
WM: Do you think your sisters-in-law feel jealous about the way you relate with your brothers?
Anyiam-Osigwe: (laughter) Being an only girl, as they married, I saw their wives as sisters. I still see them as such. If I have to deal with an issue as a sister in law, I do so with a human face. I don’t use the word ‘in-law’. My brothers live with my mum in the same house. Michael lived in the same apartment with her and his wife, as well. For sixteen years they have done so. When he passed on, in the village when relatives came to talk to me about tradition, I said she has lived with my mum for sixteen years and never once raised her voice at her.
I don’t know I could have lived with a mother-in-law of 16 years without raising my voice. I would consider her a saint for this. Her pain was mine; I was mourning the loss of my brother and at the same time consoling my younger sister who had lost her husband. It was double tragedy for me. I love the fact that all my nephews and nieces see me as that aunty that they can come to for anything. There’s nothing a mother would do for her child that I do not.
WM: The next question is about your weight loss. Simply, how did you do it?
Peace Anyiam-Osigwe: About three years ago, I suddenly had some pigmentation problem. So in trying to figure out what was wrong, I went through several tests, one couldn’t really tell of it was vitiligo or something else. It was one of those interesting journeys where you go everywhere. My brothers became so worried. They took me to India, Cuba, South Africa, London, Germany, you name it. But in the end I found the solution here in Nigeria in dogoyaro leaves and shea butter. In India, they said what you eat, anything to do with your skin has to do with your blood. You have to rebuild your blood from the inside. I had to cut out a lot of things. I began being a little bit more vegetarian. I normally don’t really eat red meat but this time I had to cut it out completely.
I was juicing more greens, lettuce, cucumber. That flushes your system. This was the main instrument for the weight loss. It was getting serious and my brother began complaining that I was losing too much. But at this point I was used to it. So I began trying to add more weight but the death of my brother, Michael, last November took it all away. He was the one urging me to add a bit more weight. I was with him in the US for a film marketing summit and we returned two days apart only for him to get killed about five days later. I didn’t eat and was on liquids the entire period. I don’t remember that I put any solid food in my mouth until the day he was buried. I couldn’t swallow anything. I remember being given soft drinks. That was about it.
WM: Was Michael your favourite brother?
Anyiam-Osigwe: I can’t really say so. The family is very close. Michael watched over all of us. He was the most caring of us and most compassionate. The fact that he was shot in the heart is very significant for me. I used to refer to him as the heartbeat of the family. He resolved all the conflicts. It’s been difficult for us as a family to deal with the loss. I’m very close to my nephews and nieces.
Michael’s eldest daughter is very much like him. She would call to check on us all when we are away to know how each of us is doing. We have a great relationship. When they call and say ‘aunty how far?’ I know it’s pocket money they need. Or sometimes they say ‘aunty we want to go to a party but we are telling them we are in your house.’ So if anybody calls they are hanging out with me. It’s a lot of fun for me and I like that we share the relationship we do. This way I get to know their friends and what they are up to. When I offer to go with them they say, ‘ah, no o’ aunty. You’ll spoil our show.’ And I say ‘I’ve lost weight, I’ll wear jeans and sit in one corner,’ and we’d all laugh.
WM: How have you dealt with the rumours about AMAA?
Anyiam-Osigwe: I’m a filmmaker myself. I can’t stop talking to Emem Isong or Genevieve only because I’m CEO of AMAA and have something to do with the jury system. The jury is made up of people I can vouch for internationally. Their reputations speak for themselves. They are not people who would compromise their international reputation to do my calling. I don’t really care how, why or where they get these issues from. Somebody said to me ‘I have heard how you choose winners in AMAA’ and I said really, I’d love to hear it. I don’t know most of the time where my jury is staying. I don’t know winners until I hear it on stage. I jubilate when a friend wins, like a normal person would. Once, I was jubilating a friend won and somebody said stop jubilating, they would think you already knew. I told them I am not made of that. I grew up mostly abroad and have very principled parents. I don’t have anything to hide.
AMAA has audited accounts for all the years that it has existed. Most of the time, my father’s foundation and business have had to carry the cost. I read on the papers about figures AMAA supposedly received from state governments. If I saw that kind of money, then I surely would be having the best event ever. We never got those monies and most of the time it came so late by the time you already had all the plans and things set in motion. If I didn’t have the backing of my brothers and other things I do, I probably wouldn’t have been able to fund the cost of AMAA for the last two years and ensuring it stays on.
WM: You had a vision when you started AMAA. Looking back, can you say you have achieved them?
Anyiam-Osigwe: Not totally. AMAA still has a lot of teething issues, logistics, getting the show right, time and all. But that has a lot to do with funding and being able to organize it on time and get the right team in place I feel that now we are concentrating with the new CEO, Dayo Ogunyemi, who is an entertainment lawyer, like I am a lawyer, on getting AMAA where we want it to be. We have the same vision and the same team.
I’m still there helping but not doing the day-to-day AMAA running around. He now drives that vision and takes it to the next level where we think AMAA should be. Just before my brother died, he had been traveling with me though Africa, the Caribbean, Cuba and other places in trying to make other African black Africans based in these locations, who don’t technically see themselves as Africans but as blacks.
WM: Are you remarried?
Anyiam-Osigwe: (Laughter) This question many people want answers to. To you, I will say I’m in a very, very beautiful relationship with God and with a man that He sent. I am happy with the person I am with and also because he is somebody Michael understood. The fact that he liked this person on my behalf is the icing on the cake, as Michael is a difficult person to please. It’s good to be with somebody you call a friend.