Of legislators and legislators

I confess that for all my supposed closeness to the British establishment, I would not have known what a constituency surgery is. If I had heard it in the Nigerian context, I would have concluded that a benevolent parliamentarian was sponsoring free medical surgery for lucky constituents. But that is as far from reality as a British PM visiting Nigeria on health grounds as Buhari and Tinubu have now established. Benevolent medical surgeries happen with the help of Nigerians abroad.

Constituency surgeries are apparently the way British parliamentarians connect with their publics. It is apparent that they happen more often than expected, and not for electoral subterfuge. Those versed in foreign news would have heard of the assassination of Sir David Amess, the MP representing Leigh-on-Sea in the county of Essex in the UK parliament. Amess was conducting a surgery (meeting) with his constituents when an irate 25-year-old Briton hacked him to death with a knife. Efforts to save his life proved abortive and Sir Amess died of his stab wounds before he could get to the hospital. The assailant was arrested with his weapon and is under investigation.

Amess became the second member of the British parliament to be hacked to death in the last five years after Jo Cox. His assassination has led to calls in some quarters for stricter protective measures for lawmakers. The media have been blamed for the animosity against politicians. It is now said that the way we report stories incites people against politicians.

This year alone, French President Emmanuel Macron has been assaulted twice. First, he was slapped by a member of the public and lately pelted with an egg. In Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was pelted with stones at a rally and had to cancel another engagement due to security concerns.

While most legislators blame inadequate safety measures for these attacks, saying the might impact their interaction with people, some have vowed to carry on their assignments leaving law enforcement agencies to do their jobs. Outside Nigeria, security agencies do their jobs without physical intimidation.

All these must be very difficult for the average Nigerian. But for some odd campaign incidents, to attack an elected official here would be akin to making a death wish. It is physically impossible for the kind of proximity to put elected leaders in mortal danger except in a coup.

Nobody holds parliamentary surgeries in Nigeria. They complain of being harassed by their constituents for the things they fail to empower their constituents to be able to take care of – children’s education, jobs; the odd weddings, naming and funerals. The bogus allowances they get are meant to help them maintain contact with the needs of their constituents. In reality, it hardly happens.

Succeeding Nigerian legislators often make laws to block access to the National Assembly. Those who manage a view from the gallery are kept from their representatives except they are invited. In the days before Apo Legislative Quarters was auctioned to the highest bidder, efforts were made to isolate it from public access.

The Nigerian media know better than to sniff the behinds of members of the legislature. While tax payers fund the establishment and maintenance of constituency offices, they are practically non-existent in reality. Editors in need of the patronage of these fat cats for organisational survival steer clear of sleazy stories that may block advertisement revenue.

Provision is made for legislators to hire staff to help them make sense of their duties at the National Assembly, but most of them do not hire incompetent hands. There are reports of legislators making deals with staff to take kickbacks. The staff collects the pay and hands over the agreed remittance. That way, they do not need to work.

The greed of the Nigerian legislator is unfathomable. Committees are arranged in such a way as to ensure that every legislator chairs one, is deputy chair of another and a member of a third. This helps to harvest committee budgets. Quarrels over who gets what from these budgets have led to the exchange of slaps in the past.

From experience, common statement from these over-confident but usually empty-headed legislators is – have you ever won an election? As if majority of them truly understand the true meaning of winning ballots when they are often handed votes through thuggery and vote allocation.

It is common knowledge that only a fraction of Nigerian legislators maintain constituency offices anywhere. For all you care, there could be signposts buried in front of a beer parlour in case someone shows sufficient interest. As any Nigerian would tell you, the only time they see their legislators or other elected officials was during elections. Once the votes have been allocated and a winner or loser announced, a Nigerian elected official discards the electorate assuming the right to think for the voter. Consultation with the people they purportedly represent is infradignitatem.

Even during election season, not many aspirants show up at campaigns. The concept of door-to-door campaign, a feature of modern democracy is often replaced with the distribution of stomach infrastructure. Middlemen collect money from the aspirant, buy bread, butter, gari and peanuts for distribution with a paltry sum of money. Once the electorate has sold its soul, the vote buyer is above the law.

You could then understand why Nigeria’s rural communities have remained where Frederick Lugard left them or worse. Modern democrats do not have this kind of luxury although Donald Trump tried to introduce it in America. Our schools, roads and social amenities have remained the way they are, and in many instances a shadow of their past. Alumni associations often break bones to rescue their alma mater. Every Nigerian citizen knows somebody who contributes money to pay for a tutor to be hired for a school that is supposed to be under the supervision of an arm of government. Parents register their wards at miracle centres to outsmart hard-working students at national examinations.

The motive behind the stabbing of Sir Amess remains shrouded in mystery. He has represented his constituents for over 40 years, and the eulogies from his colleagues and constituents make service to humanity worth the while. He was described as jovial, amiable and reliable, helping his constituents where they need help. Colleagues spoke of a man who places constituent and national interest above his dealings.

This is more than could be said about many of our heavily paid but highly underperforming lawmakers in Nigeria. When they die, the people are quick to forget them and their place in history.

Nigerian lawmakers need to read Laura Kuenssberg, political editor at the BBC writes about public expectation from elected leaders. ”We expect the MPs we elect to see us in person, not to hide behind Parliament’s ornate gates and wood-panelled walls.” In Nigeria, our ‘elected MPs’ loathe to see us in person. Their actions extend our slavery.

Indeed, Nigerians expect nothing from their parliamentarians who connive with their oppressors to suppress them. A true legislature fights on the side of the people to balance power. In Nigeria, our parliamentarians gleefully announce that they would not rock the boat but stand in cahoots with the executive to rob the people blind.

Here is an example. Before he had checked what’s in the 2022 Appropriation Bill for his constituents, Benjamin Kalu, House of Reps image-maker has declared that N134 billion allocation to the legislature is ‘too small’. Need we say more?