Of Cars and CAR

– What?
– Destruction.
– Oh no, don’t tell me you too have become a prophet of doom. They speculate on who is likely to die in a country of 100 million plus, but they did not see the Chibok abduction coming. They are all liars.
– Huum.
– Yes they are. They live large on the offerings of the poor; boast that they found the formula for riches – cashing in on the ignorance of the poor.
– Huum.
– Why are you grunting like a pig?
– It’s all true, but way off my topic.
– Aren’t you are a religious bigot who gets queasy when your fake prophets are being put down? They want eternal state of emergency. Has they not read what Elijah did with the prophets of Baal?
– Am sure they have.
– So why can’t these miracle workers challenge Imam Shekau to a duel and let the God that answereth by fire settle the score once and for all?
– And leave their wealth, jets and businesses for you to run ba?
– My point exactly, these people are fake.
– Actually I was approaching the issue from an angle which is not totally off tangent to your outburst.
– Which is…?
– C.A.R.
– Totally illogical – the unfurling of the assembled-in-Naija-Nissan. Government’s behaviour reminds of the proverbial fool who ran to cover his head with a giant mortar on hearing the rumbling of the clouds?
– Looks like today, you have nothing but bile for the system.
– Yes, did you not hear that the cost of clearing Tokunbo has skyrocketed by 70%? Do you know what that means? It means the inability of the poor to fulfill destiny by riding a car, even if it’s the rejects of Europe and America. It means that the Customs, which used to bring in more revenue than any other federal agency can no longer meet their targets. It means that smuggling, which hurts not just the economy but men and women would increase…
– Huum…
– Stop humming, it irritates me. It means…wait a minute, who advises this government? Where do people close the lid on what is affordable to embrace what is not? Or is it because they have access to stolen wealth they think all of us are in the same saddle?
– Cars are not for everybody?
– Really?
– Yes? Too many Tokunbo increases pollution and blurs the gap between those who have arrived and pure wannabes…
– Nissan is a Japanese car.
– Yes.
– Is there a policy in Japan prohibiting the Japanese from driving anything but Toyotas and Nissan?
– Maybe, you know they live on remote island.
– Would the Japanese ban the importation or manufacture of other cars if Ezekiel Izuogu’s Z-600, Victor Uwaifor’s Vision 01 or Innoson Ventures decides to relocate to Tokyo in a liberalised economy?
– Very unlikely.
– I thought capitalism was about competition and free markets.
– I think you’re asking the wrong person. Seek audience with Prime Minister Ngozi, she’ll be ready to offer a few lessons in economic management and a bonus would be how to tie a headgear.
– Reminds me of Fela’s song – Teacher Don’t Teach Me Nonsense.
– Before you get too worked up over this economic management for which, I will gently remind you I have neither the right qualification nor antecedents, I was talking about C.A.R.
– C.A.R?
– Yes, the Central African Republic.
– So, what about the CAR?
– Well, the Christian militia thought they won the battle, now it is evident the war has started.
– I don’t get you.
– The anti-Balaka murdered hundreds of Muslims because they are in the majority and sent the rest away in penury after plundering and looting their businesses.
– It’s called religious cleansing.
– Well, fools live beyond reason. The Germans failed to exterminate the Jews; the Irish couldn’t break the union; the Israeli wouldn’t exterminate the Palestinians; we didn’t learn from Somalia and obviously they are not learning from us.
– True.
– A state built on religion will starve – ask South Sudan. The people you cleanse have sympathisers from outside your group – people who are hungry for death. They’ll start a campaign of annihilation and engage you in real war. You win the battle perhaps but lose the war. Now bombs are flying into churches, there are drive-by shootings and who knows what next. The price you pay for hate outweighs the fruits of brotherly love. Christianity and Islam are Abrahamic faiths, born from the same loins. We didn’t learn from others and they have not learnt from our tragedy.