Odellectuals on social media

It’s open season for foolishness on Naija social media it seems. Every day, another silly post from someone who thinks – completely undeservedly – that they are sophisticated or intellectual, talking about how others ought to be. How to eat, how to dress and more recently, admonishing Naija women who choose not to wear wigs or extensions or perms. What all these odellectuals ( yes, I made it up because there’s got to be a Naija English word that captures the phenomenon of believing one an intellectual and vomiting the most anti-intellectual stuff) have in common beyond the nonsense they spew is their embarrassingly high colo-mentality and the accompanying self-hate it produces naturally.

How on earth are you, a black woman, hating on the hair that grows out of your head, so much so that you think it is untidy to carry it? That you rant about those who choose not to process their hair or cover it up with wigs or extensions?  See your mouth like “You can’t wear your natural hair to my event.” Keep your event that no one has ever heard of. With an attitude like that, no one sensible will want to come to them anyway. Like attracts like (forget all that opposites attract abeg.)

I am so incensed by this silliness. And it’s not because I am on that table they think they are shaking. I have always loved braids. For my wedding, I had braids. I wore hair extensions once for a friend’s wedding in the early 2000s and it was so uncomfortable that I knew that life wasn’t for me. The hair, long and silky felt so foreign to me that I got a jolt each time I touched it. I couldn’t wait to get it off. In 2005, I permanently locked my hair.  I love the comfort of just getting up, brushing my hair and going about my business.

I love feeling my scalp. I love the particular joy of dropping mint oil at the root of each individual loc. I love finding creative ways of styling my locs. I am so in love with my hair that I don’t care what other women do to/with their hair. And neither should these self-appointed arbiters of sophistication.

My anger with these women (and all the clips I have seen are of women) is that they dare to want to shame and police other women’s choices. It shouldn’t bother you how your fellow women want to wear their hair. Enjoy your extensions and your wigs, and allow others to enjoy their own choices.

Let the eagle perch, let the hawk perch. And the bird that says the other may not perch, let its wings break (off). For the record: I do not wish these women such violence. I am all for peace and re-education. What I wish them is the self-awareness to realise just how ignorant they are, and the humility to accept it (and therefore be quiet and learn). And perhaps, the biggest lesson I wish they would learn is that our natural hair – pressed or not – isn’t untidy.

It isn’t the ugly stepsister of Oyibo hair, destined to a life in the shadows, only to be exposed in hidden spaces. There is a lot to unpack in the insinuation that only Oyibo and Oyibo-adjacent hair deserve joy. The internalised self-hate is staggering, and it is a pity that our young girls are hearing this. That while we are telling them they can be anything, some other folks are using their platforms to tell them they can be anything, not just with their hair unprocessed or covered up with wigs and foreign hair extensions.

Let the eagle perch, let the hawk perch. By all means, wear your wigs, wear your extensions, process your hair. It’s your choice. However, do not do so because you believe that our hair, as is, that our traditional hairstyles are inferior to these other choices you buy. Do not use your platforms to propagate nonsense. Learn to love yourself, and it wouldn’t matter how you choose to wear your hair or how other women choose to.