I begin with the name of Allaah, the entirely Merciful, the specially Merciful. “And proclaim to mankind the Hajj (pilgrimage). They will come to you on foot and on every lean camel, they will come from every deep and distant (wide) mountain highway (to perform Hajj)” – Surah Al-Hajj, Verse 27.
It all started with a dream my sister had sometime in the beginning of this year with our late father explicitly telling those children who have not been to Hajj to embark on that journey. I was part of the remaining three who had never performed Hajj. So naturally I was moved to prepare for that unique experience.
Alhamdulillaah, Allaah made it possible for my sister and I to go for this year’s Hajj. The 2023 Hajj was historic for many reasons; it was the first time the Saudi Arabian government opened up to full capacity after the COVID-19 pandemic and due to that, the number of pilgrims was the highest ever recorded in history. It was also the first time that women were allowed to perform the Hajj without a Mahram (male relative whom you can’t marry).
“Rabbi Yassir wa laa tu’assir wa tammim bil khair, My Lord, make this task easy and do not make it difficult and complete it with goodness.” This was a prayer I constantly read before and during my journey to Hajj. I had heard a lot of petrifying stories about the difficulty and complexity of Hajj. So my anxiety level was very high. I read stories about how the stampede happened at the Jamrat area during the stoning and on the way, how people pushed and shoved and once you fall that was it, you were either badly hurt or will be returning back to Allaah. It was also a hot Summer in Saudi Arabia; temperatures were peaking at 45oC. At some point, I was like maybe I was travelling to Hajj to never come back. I still went ahead and prepared myself physically and spiritually. The mental and emotional bit of the Hajj journey, I asked Allaah to help me with, as I just couldn’t hold myself together. I read my hajj books meticulously, watched some Omar Suleiman and Yasir Qadhi Hajj videos and did quite some research. I was very conversant with the Hajj rites and what nullifies the Hajj in theory.
The thing about life is that learning never stops and you tend to always be humbled. Nothing I did prepared me for what I witnessed during the Hajj but Allaah came through for me. For every difficulty I encountered, there was some form of ease. In situations where I would have been livid, He brought ease to my heart. Sometimes, I felt as if I got a big hug from Allaah, I don’t know how but that’s how I felt.
We landed in Jeddah from Abuja, Nigeria, and headed to Madinah, the city of the Prophet SAW. I’ve always loved Madinah from when I went visiting as a little girl with my family. As I grew older, my love for Madinah intensified, it brings inexplicable pleasure to my being, from the air to the people, such a beautifully blessed city to experience. We were in Madinah for just two days and then we travelled to Makkah to perform the Umrah for Hajj. Makkah is a whole different ball game and unlike Madinah, I never felt complete calm. It is home to the Ka’abah (House of Allaah) and it is a blessed city but the city and people of Makkah are not the same as Madinah; even the air smells different. Makkah welcomed us with road closures and we had to wait in our bus for a few hours before we headed to the hotel. I was very tired but I had to perform Umrah and started my Umrah rites just about midnight. The Ka’abah area on the ground floor was full. In all my years of doing Tawaf around the Ka’abah, I had never seen many people circumambulating around it. My sister and I decided to go to the first floor which had less people but was a larger circumference hence more distance to cover in the seven circuits around the Ka’abah. It was tough, especially as we were operating with barely adequate sleep and energy but Allaah gave us strength. I used the opportunity to rest a bit after performing the 2 raka’ahs of prayers required when the Tawaf was completed. It was for about five minutes and I was amazed by what those five minutes of rest gave back to my body. Sa’ee (the ritual of walking back and forth seven times between the two small hills of Safa and Marwa) has always been a bit difficult for me, even under normal circumstances, I would usually take a break and drink some Zam Zam water. I thought Hasbiyallaahu wa ni’imal Wakeel (Allaah is sufficient for me and He is the Best Disposer of Affairs). Allaah is Al-Wakeel, the One who can be entrusted with all affairs; He is the ultimate Trustee, Guardian and administrator of all things and we can trust in the fact that Al-Wakeel will provide the perfect resolution for every matter. With the help of Allaah, my Wakeel, Sa’ee wasn’t as difficult for me this time around. I had printed a 10-11 paged du’a list for myself and my loved ones and I was just supercharged and in the zone during Sa’ee. I was able to finish just before Fajr and was privileged to join the congregational prayer in the Masjid al Haram in Makkah which is worth 100,000 times the normal prayer. Alhamdulillaah a laa kulli haal. After that, Makkah was easy breezy and preparations began for the Hajj rites.
The Hajj rites began on the 8th of Dhul Hijjah 1444 AH, June 26, 2023. We left for Mina which is about 8km from Masjid Al Haram by bus just before Zuhr prayers and the journey was not long. Mina, also known as the city of tents, covers an area of about 20 square kilometres incorporating the tents, the Jamrat area (stoning of the devil area), slaughterhouses, masjids and clinics. Mina was an eye opener; I had been forewarned but you really have to experience it to understand it. Mina has a capacity of about 3 million people and this year, it may have reached capacity to accommodate pilgrims and workers on the nights we spent there. When we arrived Mina, there were a bit of issues with the accommodation and what we expected we didn’t get but Alhamdulillaah in all things as some people could not even find bed space. The tents we had paid for were “infiltrated” and there were no measures in place to check who was meant to be there and who was not meant to be there. Some pilgrims took advantage of this lapse and just occupied spaces not meant for them. We spent the night in the tent and early the next morning with our backpacks filled with essentials, we left for Arafat by bus.
Arafah was the day on which Allah (SWT) perfected His religion, completed His favours upon His beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW), and approved Islam as a way of life. There are a few hadiths concerning the Day of Arafah with sound chains to the Prophet SAW. The two which resonate with me are;
“There is no day which Allah frees people from the Fire more so than on the day of ‘Arafah. He comes close to those (people standing on ‘Arafah), and then He revels before His Angels saying, ‘What are these people seeking.” (Muslim)
“On this day, Allah, the most Exalted, descends to the nearest heaven, and He is proud of His servants on the earth and says to those in heavens, look at My servants, they have come from far and near, with hair dishevelled and faces covered with dust, to seek my Mercy. Even if their sins are as much the sand or the froth of the sea, I shall forgive them.”
Hajj is Arafat and without going to Arafat, your Hajj is null and void. Everyone is expected to be at Arafat before sunset and leave Arafat for Muzdalifah after sunset. Hajj is a truly humbling experience; everyone is on the same shared path carrying out the various rites regardless of social and financial status. Allaah gave me the opportunity to experience the day of Arafah, the best day of the year for Muslims within the boundaries of Arafat and it was undeniably one of the most beautiful occurrences I have ever experienced in my life. I still can’t find the right words to describe that feeling but it was an incredible feeling, that I know for sure. It was the spiritual climax of my entire life. I really felt like I was in the presence of Divinity, the Lord of the Worlds had come down to listen to every single one of my prayers. The words that kept playing in my head were “Your Lord is going to give you and you will be satisfied”. I brought out my 11-page du’a list and the crying and praying began with breaks in between.
The next stop was Muzdalifah which is about 9km away from Arafat. We left Arafat for Muzdalifah after sunset by bus and there was so much traffic. The journey which ideally would take minutes took us hours as buses were on standstill for most part of the journey. Muzdalifah is a flat plain with everyone sitting and sleeping on mats, a sight to behold, Subhanallah. We prayed Maghrib and Isha there. During our stay in Muzdalifah, my sister became ill and she was taken to a mobile clinic who were quite professional and later called an ambulance to take her to the nearest hospital. I had to then walk from Muzdalifah to Mina with our kind travel agent who waited with us after the rest of the group had left for Mina. We were able to catch up with the group at the boundary of Mina just before the Fajr prayer. After we all prayed Fajr, we then began the walk to the Big Jamrah (stone structure) where we symbolically stone the devil by pelting stones seven times at the structure. It is advised to pick the stones at Muzdalifah which I gathered before we left the area.
The 10th of Dhul Hijjah, the day of Eid was the toughest day for me during my Hajj experience. The Hajj rites for that day were stoning at the Big Jamrah, Hadaya (slaughtering the sacrificial animals which is paid for by the pilgrim and handled by the relevant Saudi authority), cutting about an inch of hair for women then Tawaaful-Ifadah and Sa’ee for Hajj. On that day, I cried silently, tears flowed freely and I told Allaah I was worn-out while asking for ease. In my entire life, I had never done so much physical activity in less than 24 hours while operating on very little sleep, water and food. I was beyond exhausted. After the stoning of the devil at the Big Jamrah, we had to practically walk to Makkah which was about 8km away again operating on low sleep and energy. It was not until we were just approaching the famous tunnel leading to the Masjid al Haram that we were able to get a car. Even at that, there were so many road blockages hence we were dropped quite a distance away from the masjid. My left leg was hurting so bad that I walked with a slight limp mostly behind the group.
It is recommended to do the Tawaaf and Sa’ee for Hajj on the 10th of Dhul Hijjah and I was quite determined to follow that Sunnah. Once we arrived the haram area, the group decided to go straight into the masjid to start the Tawaaf. As I knew I didn’t have the vigour to do the rites with a limp and a heavy backpack, I went back to our hotel which was a few minutes from the masjid to eat breakfast and drop my backpack. I was still tired after breakfast but notwithstanding decided to head to the masjid to continue my Hajj rites. My sister had arrived from the hospital and we met on my way out and from the way I looked, she advised I delay my Tawaaf but I insisted. I was determined to go to Allaah and be among those mentioned in the Hadith “with hair dishevelled and faces covered with dust, to seek my Mercy.”
As I limped to the masjid and approached the King Fahad gate so I could perform Tawaaf on the ground floor, the security were turning people away. I walked to the King AbdulAzeez gate of the masjid and there were barricades around it. At that point, the only other option was to perform my Tawaaf on the first floor which I knew I could not do without overstraining myself. I accepted that Allaah wanted ease for me and I went to shower and sleep for a few hours.
I went back to the masjid revitalised at Zuhr and after Zuhr prayers, I was able to do Tawaaf on the ground floor as the crowds had reduced significantly. It was also very hot at the peak of the afternoon so most people did not do Tawaaf at that time. With my hat, sunscreen and sunglasses, I began my circumambulation round the Ka’abah and recited my supplications throughout the seven circuits. After the Tawaaf and 2 raka’ah prayers, I proceeded for Sa’ee. For some reason during this particular Sa’ee, I was inspired to place my bare feet on the marble floor each time I was at Safa and Marwa for a few minutes. It had an effect on my leg and reduced the pain, making the walk between the hills easier. My inquisitive mind did a bit of research and I found out that marble has anti-inflammatory properties that can help reduce swelling and pain.
On completion of the Sa’ee, I had to go back to Mina and needed to be there before sunset. My sister and I decided to take a taxi but unfortunately because of road blockages, the taxi could only drop us at the Jamrat area. We were joined in the taxi by two strangers, a Pakistani and a pilgrim from the Republic of Niger. Taxi fares during Hajj in Makkah are hiked by about a 1000% with the locals taking advantage of the desperation of the pilgrims trying to get from one point to another in good time. From the time we entered the taxi to when we arrived the tents, there were a few difficulties encountered but Allaah brought ease to us through kind strangers. May Allaah bless them. The kind stranger from Republic of Niger confronted the taxi driver who was being needlessly difficult, paid for our taxi fare and stayed with us for about two hours trying to help us locate our tent. When we still couldn’t locate our tent after several attempts, he looked for a staff of the municipal authority to see if any assistance could be provided. The staff fortunately for us could speak a bit of English and made calls to see if there was a person available to take us to our tents. While we were waiting, the kind staff brought us water and dates and constantly came to check if we were ok while reassuring us that he was making calls to ensure help came swiftly. We waited up until almost midnight but the roads were blocked so cars could not come in except for ambulances. I called our Hajj agent and told him we were lost and he asked that I send our location. We were constantly communicating and finally he was able to locate us and take us back to our tent in Mina. During Hajj most agents abandon their clients but ours was kind and he made sure we were okay.
When we finally arrived Mina, the tent we were supposed to stay in was crowded but as Allaah wanted ease for us after the difficulty, a relative who was in the camp called and informed me that she had kept bedspace for us in their tent few doors away which was not as crowded. The remaining days in Mina were not as spiritually uplifting as I had imagined it would be. There was worship which included the stoning of the devil at the three Jamrat but a significant part was sleeping, eating and idle talk. May Allaah forgive us and accept our Ibadah, Ameen.
I was told I couldn’t take frequent showers daily, as I normally would, in Mina because of the state of the restrooms. As Allaah is my Wakeel, each time I wanted to shower, I met a toilet that had just been cleaned and my eyes were shut to a lot of things that would normally irritate me. We left Mina for Makkah after Zuhr prayers on the 12th of Dhul Hijjah after the stoning of the three Jamrat. This time around, we were fortunate to not have to walk for a long distance before we got transport to Makkah. Alhamdulillah we got to Makkah safely, showered, prayed and rested. I only had the farewell Tawaaf left now to officially become a Hajja. We spent two days in Makkah and proceeded to Jeddah for a day before our journey back to Nigeria. I did my farewell Tawaaf after fajr prayer on the day we were leaving Makkah for Jeddah. It was mixed feelings for me as I was yearning to go home but at the same time, I would miss Makkah and the prayers in the masjid especially.
I had told anyone who cared to listen that one accepted Hajj in a person’s lifetime is enough and I was unwilling to go through the Hajj process again. Hajj requires a lot of patience; a lot more than you can ever imagine and it is by Allaah’s mercy that I was able to focus on the goal of completing the process. However, before I left Makkah I had a change in heart, possibly because I was at ease or Allaah placed the yearning in my heart but I would go for Hajj again if I had the opportunity to. I would go for Hajj again just to experience the day of Arafah which gave me an indescribable feeling, no one can explicitly describe the feeling, you just have to be present in that space to comprehend it. In my heart, I believe that I had an accepted Hajj and Allaah accepted my initial prayer and allowed me to complete my Hajj with goodness. It was an overwhelming experience, I still have an unrelenting cough but, in all things, Alhamdulillaah.
Nabila Maida
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