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Money can ‘buy love’!

Don’t focus on a man’s financial state. You can marry him and you’ll both grow and advance together.” This used to be the saying of…

Don’t focus on a man’s financial state. You can marry him and you’ll both grow and advance together.” This used to be the saying of everyone to the next person in line to get married, but that seems to have taken a different turn today. Many people, male and female alike, don’t want to carry on the extra burden of a spouse who is totally financially dependent on him or her. 

In the past, it used to be mostly women who didn’t want to suffer in their matrimonial homes; men these days also do not want to suffer on account of being married. They also want women who are independent and can give as much support as they would if the need arises. For some, this independence and self reliance extends to the family of their wife. They do not want to be tied down with having to educate their children along with in-laws, as Hubert Ago confirmed.

“Nowadays, it is not just women who want men that are financially stable. We also want women who are financially stable and can take care of some of the needs in the home without having to wait for their husbands to do everything. This is one of the criteria for a lot of us when wife-hunting. At least, it was for me.” 

“In as much as love should be the propelling factor in any relationship, nobody wants to go from wealth and comfort to poverty. We all want to go from our comfort zones into even more comfortable ones. The fact that conditions could change becomes secondary to all of these. What is of the essence is how much one can get at the moment,” says Kehinde Agbajo who boasts of his competence in finding the perfect financially-stable woman to ‘fall in love’ with.

Even for those women who are involved with averagely-comfortable men, their desire as some of them have openly stated is to be with a guy who can provide all their needs so much so that they do not have to work. It doesn’t matter if he is intellectually redundant as long as whatever their need is can be taken care of by his pay slip.

As a guy, try to impress your woman with your good manners, impressive intellect and impeccable dress sense. You probably would be good enough to show off to her friends as Mr Good-looking and intelligent. See if you would compete favourably with the guy next door who impresses her with his handsome bank account, especially when she doesn’t ask before she gets it. That is who the real and correct guy is to her. Whatever his other flaws may be, she will be willing to shut her eyes to them and may even go the extra mile to bring him up to standard. The motivation to do all these is the fact that he keeps her purse stuffed.

Maimuna Yahaya said, “This is not an advice I would want to give to my children. But the truth is that my first attraction to my husband was the fact that he was wealthy. I come from a moderately comfortable family and didn’t want to be married to the same or a lesser class.

“I wasn’t going to be patient with waiting for the man to arrive at that destination. I wanted someone who was already made. I have always had a job that paid well, so it was not a question of my being lazy. But when you think of the financial responsibilities of raising a family and the extended one aside from other external responsibilities, it could be quite overwhelming if you don’t have the wherewithal. It was much later into the relationship that I started falling in love with him and noticing the other good sides to him.”

“Let’s leave modesty out of this and talk reality,” says Aisha Bello, adding, “A lot of us wish we’d ended up with someone different, particularly because they are wealthy. Their good manners and thoughtfulness become secondary. There are cases where a woman goes through years and years of abuse from her man.

“The reason she stays put in the relationship is the fact that he is consistent with providing for her needs. If he were poor and still ill-treating her, she would have nothing to lose by walking away from the relationship. But her consolation in staying is the fact that she lives in a mansion, can travel abroad like going round the corner and has the luxuries she’s always wanted.”

Money may help to keep a relationship going, as it will enable one to discharge certain responsibilities which a union cannot do without, but that does not mean that money can buy love. For if it can, then the poor will stand no chance. But we all know that the poor have had and are still having sound love relationships, just as we have the rich dying to get relationships that will work.

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