Mom having weird feelings for her son!

Dear Nabilah,

I’m 71 years old granny and my youngest son of 38 years old recently got married, something I have been anticipating and praying fervently for Allah to spare my life to witness.

Now it was perfectly done 3 weeks back and they are already settled in their new home.

Since after the wedding I became increasingly sad each passing day with the realization that I’m no longer my son favorite person, I’m no longer the one to cook his meals anymore or to have a long meaningful chat with him, it saddens me greatly that I don’t have complete access to him like I used to anymore,  we have been together throughout his life, never been separated for longer than a week, now the wedding changes everything a lot of things I cannot enjoy with my son now that he’s married, it all fills me with gut wrenching sadness, which left me very confused, asking myself what’s wrong with me that I’m having such wrong feelings?

Am I such a bad mother? I have never felt this with my other 3 sons’s weddings.

–Confused Mother.

Dear Confused,

You certainly are not a bad mother, you are a good mother having a normal reaction to being separated with your youngest and probably favorite son.

This is a condition called ‘empty nest syndrome’, which is a profound feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children leave home for the first time.

It is not a medical condition, but some underlying medical condition such as depression, anxiety or extreme fatigue might trigger it.

In your case it’s probably triggered by post wedding depression, which is another  related condition of feeling sad after all the excitement of planning a wedding.

The best thing to do is to establish a daily communication routine with your son, also find ways to make yourself busy so you don’t have extra time to mope around.

Engage in useful activities that will enrich your life, it will make you feel proud of yourself and increase good feelings.

Also try to establish a good relationship with your new daughter-in-law, you will find it’s almost as enjoyable and fulfilling as the one with your son.

Slowly you will see your empty nest syndrome ebbs and fade away.

Wishing you a good and easy relationship with your Daughter in law.

– Should I expose my brother? –

Dear Nabilah,

I’m 14 years old and my brother is 17 years, he is such a smarty pants.

He’s been fooling  our family all the time, everyone thinks he’s such a nice good boy, they are all  singing his praises, telling me to be like him especially our mother.

Meanwhile I know for sure he’s the complete opposite of what he is showing for he says a lot of bad things about all the members of our family making fool of their character behind their backs, calling them all sorts of bad names, and then behaving in the most courteous way in front of them, isn’t that hypocrisy?

And then lately I caught him taking some bad stuff and he threatened that if I expose him he will deal with me.

I have never told our mother of his behind her back antics, but now I feel I should let her know in order to stop him.

Should I tell her or not?

-Sister of the Double Face.

Dear Sister,

Exposing him might backfire as it can push him into taking more of the bad stuff just to defies and annoys you.

And exposing him directly might create bad waters between you and your brother.

Rather you should find a way to make it easy and possible for your parents to find out on their own and take proper action.

And you might be surprised later to find out that your parents are probably well aware of the other side of your Brother’s personality because they know him better than anyone else.

His antics certainly make him come about as a double faced individual, but he is probably just acting out his teenage hormones as most boys his age, and will probably straighten up once he passes this period.

The best thing you can do for your Brother is be nice and tolerant, also pray for him to shirk all the bad habits especially of taking bad stuff that can harm his health.

– What’s this growing under me? –

Dear Nabila,

For 2 years now I have noticed something growing around my private part, it’s not painful but it keeps growing and now I’m very scared and I feel very shy to tell anyone about it. I’m sixteen years old, is this normal with all girls or it’s only me?

-Feeling Scared.

Dear Scared,

No, it’s not normal, from your description it seems  like it’s Bartholin cyst, which happens due to obstruction of the opening of the bartholin gland which provides moisture to the female genitals, when it becomes blocked, the gland fills up and enlarges, might even become infected, that is why it is very important that you go to hospital as soon as possible for proper diagnosis and treatment.

I recommend you inform your parents or an older Sister if you have any, so they can take you to see a Doctor as soon as possible because only he can tell you exactly what it’s, whether it’s harmful or not and to treat  accordingly.