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Marriage killers!

Many couples make the mistake of allowing some great marriage mistakes to affect their marriages without even thinking of the circumstances that could follow such…

Many couples make the mistake of allowing some great marriage mistakes to affect their marriages without even thinking of the circumstances that could follow such misdemeanours. Even in moments of great conflict and discouragement, divorce is no solution; it merely substitutes a new set of miseries for the ones left behind! It is best to guard your marriage against any unforeseen erosion as though you were defending your lives!

Marriage is one place that once entered there are various challenges and things that we keep learning on a daily basis. It is an institution where our strengths and weaknesses are challenged and put to the test and scrutiny. We all can make the marriage or relationship worth the while or effort. Not only can we survive it, but we can also keep it going and waxing stronger if we give it priority in our system of values.

There are different things that can kill a marriage and knowing them and having an idea of how to prevent or fix them can go a long way in saving a marriage. One of the biggest marriage killers is respect. Once there is no respect in a marriage, it can never survive the test of time. For a marriage to be successful and happy, the couples must learn to respect one another. Showing respect to your spouse can go a long way towards getting you through the normal conflicts and challenges of marriage.

Lack of respect, hurtful statements and blatant disregard for your spouse is one strong and big signal that the marriage is heading towards severe conflict and the possibility of a divorce cannot be ruled out. If two people don’t have respect for each other, they can’t find common ground or find ways to solve their conflicts without tearing each other down. This means the marriage is doomed!

Communication, regardless of whatever challenges you’re facing in your marriage, is an absolute must! And if it is lacking, then you should know that one of the marriage killers has just invaded your home. If you can’t communicate with your spouse, then how can things change for the better? Our inability to clearly communicate with our spouse also clearly shows the negative tendencies that could happen in the future. Some couples are naturally gifted communicators while others are not. Good communication is necessary in every successful marriage as communication breakdown could hamper a lot of positive outcomes in the marriage.

Selfishness is another thing that could destroy marriages. When we think of ourselves and how our marriage should meet our needs notwithstanding what the other person goes through, then the marriage begins to corrode within. The marriage should be higher on the priority than each of our individual needs.

There are two kinds of people in the world – the givers and the takers! A marriage that involves two takers can be a wonderful thing, but when we have a giver and a taker, then friction is the order of the day as selfishness will definitely devastate the marriage at any point in time.

The next marriage killer is just as bad as a lack of respect, and that’s lack of trust. If you and your partner don’t trust one another in all aspects of your relationship, then your marriage is like a sinking ship with no lifeboats. No one can survive in a relationship where trust is absent. Not having trust tears at your heart and your very soul and stops communication before it ever starts. If you can’t trust the person you have committed the rest of your life to, then how can you expect to make it through the rest of your lives together? Trust is no doubt the foundation of a happy and successful marriage.

Another marriage killer is interference from in-laws. Though there are times when they are essential, but most times, some of them tend to overstep their bounds. This often turns out to be destructive for our marriages. Though they might mean well, they often fail to understand the mindset of the couple. To avoid this, couples should treat their marriage as priority and take precedence over every past human relationship, including parents.

Couples could discuss and come to consensus on issues concerning their lives and only seek their in-laws’ counsel when it is necessary but not to make it the ultimate or final decision.

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